I have seen thousands of people in movies catch on fire. But you know what I've never seen? One of these flaming motherfuckers stop, drop, and roll! Holy shit! This is basic stuff, people! I remember this information being pounded into my skull practically every day all throughout grade school. If you ever catch on fire, what do you do? STOP, DROP, AND FUCKING ROLL! They said it so much that I believed it was an inevitable part of life that I would one day catch on fire.

And here I am, totally prepared, but with nothing to show for it. But every single person I have ever seen catch on fire in a movie just runs around flailing their arms. WTF?! That's the LAST thing you're supposed to do! Sometimes they're even right next to a body of water! And do they ever jump in? FUCK NO! I can only figure fire safety is a completely unheard of concept in the movie world.