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Jan 2019 *
RTD (Roll to Dodge):
Sign-Up/Set-Up Phase:
1. Players sign in by posting "/in", accompanied by a backstory story for their character and posts it to thread (you can pick whatever you want: abilities, intelect, etc..., but keep in mind it is more fun when you stick to the theme)
2. The first 5 players to "/in" will start, any additional players will be placed on the waiting list.
3. Sign-Ups will close on Friday 1/18/2019 at 11:59 CST


Day Phase:
1. The first day will start on Monday 1/21/2019 at 11:59 CST
2. Days will last 5 calendar days. Starting each Monday and ending each Friday at 11:59 CST
3. Actions are posted publicly in the thread and can be changed up until the deadline. Players are encouraged to talk in thread and try to work together to solve issues and problems thrown at them by the master.
4. One the deadline is set reached the Derngoun Master will ask players to stop posting or lock the thread and then we enter the processing phase.

Processing Phase:
1. This phase is very easy for the players, you do nothing.
2. The Derngoun Master will take Saturday and Sunday to do the following 2 things
3. First the Master will roll a 6 sided die (once for each player). Based on the outcome of the roll the action will have one of the following type of outcome

#1: Epic Failure - The player failed in their action so bad something bad happened
#2: Small Failure - The player failed but nothing really happened
#3: Small Sucess - The player suceeded, but nothing valuable was achieved
#4: Large Sucess - The player suceeded and achieved what they wanted
#5: Epic Sucess - The player suceeded in the best way possible
#6: Overshot Sucess - The player suceeded so much that the action backfired

4. Then, once the dice have been rolled, the Master with then write a scene that ties all of the actions and their results together and also introduces new elements for the next "Day Phase"

Ending Phase:
The game can end in 1 of 4 scenerios
1. Everyone dies (This happens when everyone dies and the Master has chosen to not have or is out of alternates in their "queue")
2. World is destroyed (Similar to everyone dying, but regaurdless or players and alternates the game ends)
3. Mission accomplished (Sometimes Masters will theme the game like a quest and when you win, well you win)
4. Game has hit a point that everyone agrees has taken to long, at this point a vote is held and if the majority want it to end the Master sets a number of days that are remaining and once tey are done the game ends.


Rules:
1: Be nice. Jesting is fair game, but don't be a total ass, this will result in you being mod killed. This game is meant to be co-operative.
2. All actions must be submitted in bold and with "Action:" before the action.
3. Don't post in Red this color is reserved for the mod.
4. Don't post during the processing phase
5. Have fun


Players
1. Box_A_Hair
2. Snowy_Owl
3. Ballz
4. Zed
5. Bambi


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#1

Jan 2019 *

Flight 1031: Stranded in a Radioactive Cemetery


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It was a musky and fowl smelling afternoon as flight 1031 departed from LAX. The passengers couldn't see much through the hypocritical smog that filled the cesspoolian jungle that is Las Angeles, but that didn't stop the ever annoying 8-year old brats and decrepit old geezers from gawking at the "marvel" of how things look from a little fucking further away.

The flight started like any other. The plane took off, most passengers could be seen popping this pill or that pill to calm their nerves. All hail the mighty pill; how did humanity ever traverse the globe with out it. To think we once sailed across the ocean with nothing but dried meat and rum, now we can't go on vacation with out a 3-month supply of Xanax.

Those who chose not to indulge in mindless, doped up air travel were almost all accompanied by a fucking comfort animal. I guess the world didn't learn from small pox and the plague, but who cares about interspecies disease when we can be comforted by carrying a pig on our laps.

image


As the plane reached cruising altitude the pilot, in his ever-intriguing monotone voice, greeted the passengers

*ding*

"..uhhhhh this is your pilot speaking. uhh.. welcome to flight 1031 from LAX international airport non-stop service to Mosco's SVO international airport. . .uhhhhhhhhh the flight should be fairly smooth, not too much turbulance projected. We should be touching down about 3A.M. local time .. uhhhh.. flight attendants will be making rounds to get drink orders and requests for the first course. If you are in first class your choices tonight are either prime rib with roasted red potatoes and a baguette or grilled chicken with a side salad. For our economy passenger you will be provided a cold sandwich and a bag of chip. Just uhhhhh sit tight and enjoy the 16-hour flight"

*ding*

The flight attends came by, the food came and went. Day became night and a second dose of pills got popped; then a third. Before anyone new it the pilot was coming back on to announce the decent.

*dign*

"...uhhh welcome to Russia comrades. The local time is 2:25A.M. The temperature is negative seven degrees Celsius in Moscow. I hope you all packed a jacket. We should begin our decent in about 25 minutes, our run way is clear, and we are set to land a little early. Flight attendants please prepare for... uhhhh... excuse me

*ding*


*ding*
uhhhhh...... bad news folks both engines are failing, and we are going down. uhh... flight attendants please prepare for impact. Passengers please follow the flight attendants instructions and on behalf of Big Mainstream Air I would like to say thanks for choosing BM Air, we know you have a choice and we are delighted you have chosen u...

*bang*

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The plane has crashed. The survivors find themselves in an abandoned cemetery. Please reply to this post with the word "/in" and a backstory/description/introduction to your character.

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zed says:
#24, Reply to #1

Jan 2019
I try to gather as much lube as I can from jackeline and shove it in her holes, as one never knows when the grease will come in handy, like greasing up any locks I will encounter. Then I start to sound off via my foghorn like rectum every 5 minutes in the hope of attracting attention


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#34, Reply to #24

Jan 2019
If you could, in the future, reply to the OP, not the intro story,


Luv U


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#2

Jan 2019
Sign-Ups are Now Open


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Box_a_Hair says:
#3

Jan 2019
/in

My character will be "Blart". I'm kind of fat and inept, exactly like Kevin James. I've packed light this trip, bringing with me 6 bananas, a lighter, and a half-eaten stick of deoderant. That's right, I took a bite out of the deoderant, because I needed fresh breath.

I also dress like a security guard, and have a dastardly mustache. In fact, my mustache is fake, and it's only taped on. My goal was to go to Europe for Octoberfest, but not for the beers, but for the sausage. The connection in Russia or whatever didn't go over so well, so here I am, launched into this scenario without a clue. I'll probably die, if I don't bumble my way through this, Kevin James style.


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Snowy_Owl says:
#4

Jan 2019 *
/In

My character's name is Rose. I just graduated college, and I am on a celebratory trip around the world starting with Russia. I have only my backpack with some clothes, a map of Europe, and of course my favorite book. I swam throughout school, so I am pretty athletically inclined, and excited to trek through Europe's spectacular cities, and wilderness.


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Ballz says:
#5

Jan 2019 *
/in

I'm Frank Pendlebrush, I'm 45 years old, and I love getting drunk. In fact, I was so drunk during the flight, I blacked out and had no clue the plane went down until after the fact. I'm also balding and while I've seen slimmer days, I'm not completely out of shape.

Despite being what my ex-wife frequently refers to as an alcoholic, I've managed to hold onto my job at the Los Angeles Zoo. My job is actually why I've come to Russia. The zoo officials want me to examine a pair of Siberian tigers the Russians would like to get rid of and if the tigers are in good enough condition, I'm supposed to arrange for their transportation back to the US. I was hoping to try some authentic Russian vodka as well while I'm here, but thanks to the crash, I guess that, along with my job, will have to wait. Good thing I packed a case of beer in my luggage. Now if I can just find my luggage.

Besides my lost luggage, I have on me a fountain pen, reading glasses, a newspaper, and a English-Russian dictionary. I also have my lucky tie with its chess piece pattern. I'd like to believe it's why I survived the crash. Hopefully it'll help me survive this scenario, too. Is there a bar somewhere in this cemetery?


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zed says:
#6

Jan 2019
nostrovia comrades, Stewart Mac doodle here, I was intending to visit my rellies in Aberdeen but somehow in my inebriated state brought a ticket to Moscow by mistake, all I have on me is a roll of fruit lollies a hanky, and a much loved cheap inflatable doll (uninflated). I have no hair on my body due to some ancestral curse but to compensate can produce gas on command. Iโ€™m currently employed as a plumber.


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#7

Jan 2019 *
Cool so now we have 4 players, I'll give gymnopedie until the deadline, but if he or another player /in's I may start the day early if people are ok with that.

I also want to clarify on something @Box asked me yesterday. If everyone has submitted their action prior to the deadline I will hold a vote to see if players want to end the day early. The vote must be unanimous since players can change their actions up until the deadline.


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Gymnopedie says:
#8

Jan 2019 *
/in

My name is Paul Thomas Schneider. I was a geological engineer, contracting for the government in its construction of a program known as D.U.M.B., or Deep Underground Military Bases, helping the U.S. government building underground bases. I held a Level 3 (Rhyolite 38) security clearance. I worked in a seven-storey underground complex beneath Mount Archuleta on the Colorado-New Mexico border. I went whistleblower after surviving an extraordinary battle in 1979. I escaped to Europe with agents on my tail. The subterranean highway in Russia is like a freeway except itโ€™s underground. I can't afford to go on the lecturing circuit to tell my experiences. I am trying to stay alive. I ended up here.


Jan 2019
Comment Deleted

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#10

Jan 2019 *
The sun begins to set on the foul-smelling cemetery, by the time the survivors begin to come to. Well, by the time all but one came to; Paul Thomas Schneider jumped from the plane at the last second and as he timed, he jumps from the broken cabin door just perfectly, he forgot that he was wearing his heavy-duty backpack full of water, M.R.E.s and flares. The dilemma for Paul and, if Paul would so choose to share or rather is forced to, is that his backpack became hooked to a tree when he intended to hit the ground. Of course, he screamed for help but after about 4 hours he thought everyone was dead. Luckily, they are not. I do have one other minor correction to make. One survivor is still out of it, all be it awake. Frank Pendlebrush is alive for one reason and one reason only. The man was so relaxed when he hit the ground the liquor just kind of absorbed the impact. One other positive for Frank is that he spilled some high proof hooch on himself as the plane went down, Frank has a bad habit of sleep drinking. This resulted in all the hair on Franks head and face to burn off. Congratulations Frank you are no longer going bald; you are there. Franks suitcase of beer and his newspaper are nowhere to be found, but somehow his glasses, pen and tie where also drunk enough to survive the crash, that or maybe they just landed on Blart. Blart, like Frank, has his addictions to blame for being alive in the middle of this cemetery. Blart is a very large man and between 55 years of pizza and fried chicken plus the 6 bananas tucked into the front of his pants he had just enough cushion to survive. There's not much else to say about Blart other that his pits smell of sausage and his breath of deodorant. Oh, that and his has one sexy stache. Rose is stuck on top of a small mausoleum in the west side of the cemetery. She doesn't seem to mind though. She has just spent the whole time reading her favorite book, Lord of the Flies. Stewart Mac doodle has also found himself in a strange place. You see when the cabin first depressurized onboard the plane, Stewart cut the hose and inflated his latex sex doll. He was able to ride this to safety, but since there was so much lube on 'Jackeline' Stewart slid right past the cemetery into the foggy wood behind it. His rape kit, I mean lollie pops and gag, I mean hankie, survived as well, but seriously anyone who has with them lollies, something you can stuff in someoneโ€™s mouth and a sex doll is a bit off. The time is roughly 7 P.M. local time and itโ€™s damn cold outside, but what happens next is now up to you all!

Day 1 has now Begun.

Actions will be final at 11:59 CST on Friday.


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#11

Jan 2019
GLHF!


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Snowy_Owl says:
#12

Jan 2019
While I love reading Lord of the Flies, over and over again, I would very much like help getting down from this mausoleum.


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Box_a_Hair says:
#13

Jan 2019
I'll try to reply to the OP to keep these responses linear.

My first action! Scan the perimeter! Ocular patdowns! Oh no... my bananas are crushed! My blood sugar is low, and I need to find food, fast!

I want to search for something sweet to eat.


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Ballz says:
#14

Jan 2019 *
That pilot must've been as drunk as me. *hic* Why do my face and scalp sting and itch? Wait a minute, where's my hair? Oh no, not again! *belch* Well, I guess things could be worse. At least I still have my lucky tie.

My first instinct is to find booze ASAP, but I think I hear someone calling out in the distance. Has help arrived already? Maybe they brought along emergency alcohol supplies. *hic* *fart*


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Snowy_Owl says:
#15

Jan 2019
Hey Blart, you have enough cushion for me jump down on. Fancy helping me get down?


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Box_a_Hair says:
#17, Reply to #15

Jan 2019
Am I supposed to reply to the OP, even though I'm specifically replying to @Owl? I figured we were only replying to the OP when we're submitting an action, but my brain is only working 28% today, so I'm confused.


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#18, Reply to #17

Jan 2019
All posts should be a reply to the OP. Posts should be read in chronological order, and the timeline would get very hard for me to piece together each day if I had to sort out each set of replies by actual time posted.


Jan 2019
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@ am
You have reached the end of Trash Epics.