sounds like you are in love, yakko.

That's nothin'! It can get much, much worse. Statistically speaking, there's only 0.000001% of the female population who make a great, fun to be around, non-obnoxious partner for a man. The odds aren't in your favor.

Change your number.

Just fuck her, then tell her to hit the bricks.

Cut her loose now before she winds up in the luggage like Becky.

Yakko I'm convinced you're a str8 playa and probably have a harem of honey's, throw her out and have her replaced.

So, how did you end up handling this one?

I finally agreed to go out with her even though I had no interest in her. We went to Pizza Ranch. I just sat and said as little as possible, and the food was non-edible so I didn't eat anything either. She thought it was great so I just didn't say anything. Even after this she still kept calling me, so I just stopped answering. That's been about a year ago now.

Those Totino's frozen pizzas are pretty good. Perhaps you two should have stayed in and put a couple of those in the oven.

The thing I should've done is not even engaged her at all the first time she talked to me. I knew I'd have no interest in her because she was fat and ugly, and it was obvious the only reason she was interested in me was because she could see I was a loser just like she was. She knew she'd never find anyone else, and she probably knew by looking at me I couldn't get any women either. Therefore she probably figured I'd be desperate enough to fall for her. If she'd have been decent looking and halfway smart or had anything going for her at all, she'd never be even noticing me. The only women who ever show any interest in me are fat ugly retards, because they think I couldn't get anything better than that.

And I can't stand Totino's pizza. My grandpa used to buy those and I would never eat them. He was too old to realize they were made with fake cheese. It should be illegal to sell anything that's fake, and people should know better than to buy it and eat it. But if places like Pizza Ranch can stay in business, I guess people can eat anything. I'd never been there before and I'd sure never go again.

I hope her feelings weren't hurt. She sounds nice.

I didn't say anything hurtful to her. I didn't say much of anything at all. I'm not good at making conversation with dumb people. It's a waste of my time and it annoys me. I suppose she wondered why I never called her back and never answered when she kept calling, but I can guarantee she wasn't as pissed off as I was about the whole thing. I'm the one who wasted twenty bucks on crappy food, wasted one entire afternoon and I don't know how many hours talking on the phone with her on other days, and I'm the one who has to live with not ever being able to have friends or go out with women.

Was she hot?

No. She's obese and ugly. And mentally incompetent.

Then no, that's not what having a girl friend feels like. That's what being a married redneck feels like.