Jul '15 *
I've never been a big fan of the porno genre, myself. But I think I'm a little less of a fan after watching what I just watched. Although, calling this mess a porno would be a bit of a stretch. What this really is is the pinnacle of unintentional WTF filmmaking. The ultimate abomination from the bottom of the barrel. A film so terrible, only the most hardered of bad movies lovers could withstand it. an unintentional practical joke on anyone looking for some decent fapping material. And some might even call it boring. This is the one and only, Bat Pussy!
Bat Pussy begins seemingly in the middle of the movie, during an arguement between an ugly, and most likely drunk middle aged married couple. It's not entirely clear what they were babbling about due to sound issues and mumbling. But out of the blue, they take it to the bed and the ugly wife starts sucking the ugly husband's ugly, limp dick, which will remain limp for the entire duration of the film. Is he impotent? Was he THAT turned off by his 50 year old co-star ? Has he had too much to drink? Nobody knows. That's what I love about these types of movies. Nobody knows. But this is sort of a porno, so, he plays along and pretends to be hard, repeatedly uttering the phrase "Oh, God! That's what the picture in the magazine was!". I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that, but I'm pretty sure a crew member just burped.
Then after raising up and asking the director "what?" he quickly starts berating the wife for her lack of dick sucking skills. Only to push her away and bury his face in her crotch to "suck her pussy" (his words). Her response to this is "You motherfuckin' bastard! You don't know how to do nothin". Which is totally believeable since the man is starring in a porno (for the lack of a better word), and is still nowhere near erect.
These two go back and forth between berating eachother, kidding around and making sad attempts at getting each other off with their mouths, whilst spouting improvised horshsht like "Every time I ram my tongue up your pussy, it comes out your asshole! Now, what the fkn deal is that?". Meanwhile, a new character is added into the mix. Bat Pussy's super senses informs her about the shitty, old married couple trying to get it on, and she disapproves. "Nobody fucks around on Bat Pussy", she says, and she soon crashes their party, and almost immediately ends up in a head giving threesome, which I guess is suppoed to be the big payoff. so, we do get a dash of hotness near the end. Yet, that idiot's still as limp as ever. So, nobody ever actually gets fucked.
Despite not loving the genre, I've come cross alot of weird, terrible, disgusting pornos. This one is simply on another planet. In a class by itself. An unsexy as all hell trash anomaly that seemingly exists just to make you wonder why it does in fact exist. As well as why the people involved didn't just up and bail halfway through, and instead kept on going until this project was seen through. I must admit, I know very little about Bat Pussy, so, There's not really anything more I can say to make you understand what I've just seen.
Most of the badness and pointless WTFness comes from the insanely stupid dialogue blurted out by ugly, drunk trash with unfortunate genitalia, and what may or may not be attempts at humor. And it seems like they're trying to throw in a story here and there, but they never really commit. And I can't really blame them. After all, this IS a retarded porno with one limp dick, a bickering married couple, a jealous Bat Woman ripoff, no script, and no plan. And no redeeming qualities. Highly recommended! 2/10
And if you think I'm making all of this up, here's a few minutes of dialogue from this steaming puddle of jizz.
I've never been a big fan of the porno genre, myself. But I think I'm a little less of a fan after watching what I just watched. Although, calling this mess a porno would be a bit of a stretch. What this really is is the pinnacle of unintentional WTF filmmaking. The ultimate abomination from the bottom of the barrel. A film so terrible, only the most hardered of bad movies lovers could withstand it. an unintentional practical joke on anyone looking for some decent fapping material. And some might even call it boring. This is the one and only, Bat Pussy!
Bat Pussy begins seemingly in the middle of the movie, during an arguement between an ugly, and most likely drunk middle aged married couple. It's not entirely clear what they were babbling about due to sound issues and mumbling. But out of the blue, they take it to the bed and the ugly wife starts sucking the ugly husband's ugly, limp dick, which will remain limp for the entire duration of the film. Is he impotent? Was he THAT turned off by his 50 year old co-star ? Has he had too much to drink? Nobody knows. That's what I love about these types of movies. Nobody knows. But this is sort of a porno, so, he plays along and pretends to be hard, repeatedly uttering the phrase "Oh, God! That's what the picture in the magazine was!". I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that, but I'm pretty sure a crew member just burped.Then after raising up and asking the director "what?" he quickly starts berating the wife for her lack of dick sucking skills. Only to push her away and bury his face in her crotch to "suck her pussy" (his words). Her response to this is "You motherfuckin' bastard! You don't know how to do nothin". Which is totally believeable since the man is starring in a porno (for the lack of a better word), and is still nowhere near erect.
These two go back and forth between berating eachother, kidding around and making sad attempts at getting each other off with their mouths, whilst spouting improvised horshsht like "Every time I ram my tongue up your pussy, it comes out your asshole! Now, what the fkn deal is that?". Meanwhile, a new character is added into the mix. Bat Pussy's super senses informs her about the shitty, old married couple trying to get it on, and she disapproves. "Nobody fucks around on Bat Pussy", she says, and she soon crashes their party, and almost immediately ends up in a head giving threesome, which I guess is suppoed to be the big payoff. so, we do get a dash of hotness near the end. Yet, that idiot's still as limp as ever. So, nobody ever actually gets fucked.Despite not loving the genre, I've come cross alot of weird, terrible, disgusting pornos. This one is simply on another planet. In a class by itself. An unsexy as all hell trash anomaly that seemingly exists just to make you wonder why it does in fact exist. As well as why the people involved didn't just up and bail halfway through, and instead kept on going until this project was seen through. I must admit, I know very little about Bat Pussy, so, There's not really anything more I can say to make you understand what I've just seen.
Most of the badness and pointless WTFness comes from the insanely stupid dialogue blurted out by ugly, drunk trash with unfortunate genitalia, and what may or may not be attempts at humor. And it seems like they're trying to throw in a story here and there, but they never really commit. And I can't really blame them. After all, this IS a retarded porno with one limp dick, a bickering married couple, a jealous Bat Woman ripoff, no script, and no plan. And no redeeming qualities. Highly recommended! 2/10And if you think I'm making all of this up, here's a few minutes of dialogue from this steaming puddle of jizz.
