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Feb '18 *
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OK, hear me out. Today, I'd like to talk about two unlikely pop culture icons, who, at first, may not seem all that similar, and in many ways, they're not. However Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin actually have a lot in common. Both were portrayed as the blue-collar every man, allowing them to easily relate to their audience with distinct personalities one could describe as "rough around the edges". The anomaly that was Austin and Bundy's abrasiveness made an impact that no one could have expected. Any other time in history, maybe neither of them would have been so lucky, but in the 1990's, pop culture started to change. People wanted something different. People wanted more of an edge to their entertainment. And thanks to these guys's influence, sitcoms and Pro Wrestling both became a little more interesting for a while. This isn't about who was better, but rather a celebration of them both. This one is for the ornery redneck and the born loser.

image I'll start with Al since Married With Children began before Austin's Wrestling career. The sitcom began in 1987, and actually didn't start out as what it would eventually turn in to, come the 90's. Married With Children was always supposed to be "the Cosby Show alternative", meaning it was to be less squeaky clean and more "real" than your average sitcom. Actually, I've heard that, in the beginning, the idea was thrown around to call it "NOT The Cosby show". For some reason, that doesn't sound like it would have been a good idea. Al Bundy was a shoe salesman from Chicago, whose life hadn't turned out quite like he imagined, going by his teenage glory days, which was filled with pussy and touchdowns.

image Al has a wife he's not overly fond of, named Peg. He married far too young, and has regretted it every day of his life. Al and Peg have two kids who they both would probably rather not exist. All Al has is the simple pleasures of football and beer. However the relaxation they may provide usually gets ruined by members of his unwanted family, or the neighbors, the Rhoades'. Al doesn't like them either. Steve is OK but Marcy is very much the fingernails on Al's chalkboard. Al had a shitty life, but, for some reason, many of us found comfort in this on Sunday nights. Married With Children was different. It offered something people had never seen before. Although once we had, and the popularity of this show and FOX sky rocketed, things began to change for the Bundys.

image After a couple seasons, Married With Children began to change. Not necessarily for the worse. Better and worse, I guess. Much like Roseanne, Married With Children became an exaggerated version of it's former self, bordering on self-parody, at times. Al went from being an unhappy, low paid schmuck to a miserable bum who made about 2 bucks a week, and suddenly went from disliking his wife to finding her repulsive beyond words. Peg went from annoying and lazy to a worthless pile of shit. Al's daughter, Kelly, went from being a ditzy slut to a retard who couldn't even tie her shoes. Bud, however, Bud ended up the most normal, despite his petite frame and lack of pussy-getting skills. Although his "Grand master B" nickname suited him well. By the way; they're all apparently starving to death. Meanwhile, Marcy replaced Steve with pretty boy, Jefferson, who Al seemed to like more, so, at least there's that. Marcy, however, became an angry feminist who made it her mission to ruin anything Al found pleasure in, because that's just how they role. But the joke is on here, because Al thinks she's ugly as fuck.

image In the latter years of the show, Al became more crude, sexist, and a borderline degenerate with a toxic body odor, which he was actually quite proud of. The running joke was always that Al never got his day in the sun, regardless of how close he came, at times. The live audience was like no other. They didn't just politely chuckle. They cheered. You could tell, they truly believed in Al and wanted good things for him, while laughing uncontrollably at his misfortune along the way, because it was the misfortune, and the acceptance of such, that made Al who he was. Married With Children was abruptly and unfairly cancelled in 1997, and Sunday nights have never been the same. However, many of us have fond memories of the days when Al walked through that door after a hellish day's work, where he found his wife, watching Oprah and eating bon bons. A man so defeated that suicide was never far from his mind. Only in the 90's would such a concept gain the following that it did.

image And speaking of beloved concepts. What was it about good 'ol Stone Cold that people loved so much? Whatever it was, it was enough to take eyes off a red hot WCW and breath new life into a WWF that had been experiencing a five year slump, both creatively and financially. In 1997, the crumbling WWF's top heel experienced an explosion of popularity, forcing them to turn him babyface. This wasn't just "Wrestling popularity". This was something so huge, it has mainstream appeal, which has never been common even in Wrestling's best days. Coincidentally, this was around the time Married With Children ended. So, not only was Stone Cold passed the WWF torch, but also unknowingly took over as America's most beloved blue collar asshole. But let's back up a little.

image In 1991, after getting broken into the business in World Class Championship Wrestling and USWA, Austin landed a job in WCW, and became known as Stunning Steve Austin. Over the next 4 years, Austin reached an above average level of success, winning the WCW Tag Team, Television, and U.S. Titles. It seemed as though Steve Austin was destined to carry "the big gold belt", made famous by Ric Flair. It's been said that 1994 was to be Austin's time. I've heard rumors that in the summer of that year, Austin was to go over Flair, making him the main eventer he was meant to be. Of course, we know now the man was meant to be much more than that. However, plans to make Steve "the guy" changed when a slightly washed up Hulk Hogan joined the company, derailing quite a few plans, I would imagine. Soon, it would become clear that if Steve Austin remained in WCW, he would be stuck in the mid-card.

image After sticking it out in WCW for as long as he could, Steve was fired via Fed Ex after suffering an injury. Talk about turning piss into lemonade! Austin soon landed a job in what many still considered "the big time". The WWF. A WWF that desperately needed to change, but was still unaware. When Austin showed up, they stuck a silly gimmick on him like they did most of their acquisitions at the time. When Stone Cold's WWF career began, he was known as "The Ring Master". Not so much a gimmick as it was a name, but naturally, the fans didn't take to it. Eventually, Austin brought up the idea of a name change, and in extremely fortunate luck for everyone, his request was granted. Not long after this, Stone Cold Steve Austin got his ass over quick as the top heel. A push fueled by some groundbreaking mic skills, as well as help from guys like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, whose legacies he would soon equal and eventually eclipse.

image 1998 was the year of Stone Cold. Steve not only won the WWF title in the main event of Wrestlemania 14, but helped the company gain some mainstream attention due to a staged rivalry with Mike Tyson. However it would be Autin's next rivalry that made the real difference. For reasons I'm not going to go into, Vince McMahon became a very hated man around this time, which was used to spark a new feud. "Ornery redneck vs. oppressive boss" gained the WWF ridiculous ratings and drastically altered the WWF's content for the better. Because of Steve Austin, the WWF was finally the powerhouse it once was, and to this day, Austin remains the only wrestler one would dare compare to Hulk Hogan in popularity. Unfortunately, after many great feuds and victories, Austin's career was cut short, due to neck injury. In 2003, Stone Cold quietly called it quits. Possibly the only quiet thing he ever did.

The pissed off redneck and the cursed failure. A 6-time WWF champion and a man who once scored four touchdowns in ONE game. Their lives certainly took different paths, and I think it's safe to say Mr. Bundy, as always, got the short end of the stick. However, just like Stone Cold, the already defeated shoe salesman made his mark in the world, and will forever be remembered for not only having great one-liners and shit-talking skills, but for always standing up for what he believes in. So, what does Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin really have in common? Well, we know both men hated their bosses and the world, in general, and they definitely loved their beer, but it's also safe say that neither man gave a damn what you thought of them. Ultimately, that's why they kicked so much ass!

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Tromafreak says:
#2, Reply to #1

Feb '18 *
Thank you. Writing this makes me wanna go watch some Married With Children and late 90's WWF. Those 2 guys, as they were, probably couldn't realistically exist nowadays. With all the PC cunts and whatnot.


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Tromafreak says:
#9, Reply to #8

Mar '18
emoticon


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Tromafreak says:
#7, Reply to #3

Feb '18 *
Last night, I watched the one where Al had been getting on to Peg about cooking more, or at all, I guess. And she finally does, but only after he finally caves in and goes to the dentist for the firtst time in his life, where the dentist is extra rough with his already shitty teeth, making it impossible to eat anything. emoticon

I'll keep an eye out for the supermarket one. It's been a while. And I also remember one where they go to the beach being pretty good. I know I've seen them all but have forgotten about most of them. Probably should have brushed up on the series a little more before writing about it.


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Tromafreak says:
#6, Reply to #4

Feb '18
She had bangs.



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