MORE TEXTS I TEXT PEOPLE:
True art is when you plaster yourself into a stucco wall then die like that.

True art is when you poop on a turtle then watch it walk around like that.

True art is when you shoot yourself out of a cannon into the sun and you're wearing a little plumber uniform.

True art means wearing a plastic pig nose and crashing the fanciest restaurant, Applebees.

What outfit does the frothy wave of the sea wear? A unifoam.

True are means you dance like you don't know how, laugh like everything's funny, and sing like you're ashamed of yourself.

True art means whan an obstacle is not surmountable, you create an even worse obstacle, like a mountain.

True art is hard to do, but if you focus, and take my constant advice, you will be an adequate artist. Step 1 - true art means following the first step of being a true artist.

Step 2, though the steps of being a true art are rigid and hard, you should always follow them.

Step 3, what a great step! always adhere to the steps of true art

Step 4, don't be foul, nor be ye a fowl. ducks are wrong and humankind is right. this is the path of true art.

Step 5, ne'er should you mistrust yourself, for that is not the way... of true art

Step 6, true art requires immediate immediacy. For example, if you see a cow following the laws of true art, document it with a painting that takes months to complete

Step 7: true art requires gumption and a firm adherence to the steps of true art

Step 8, never forget to constantly adhere to the steps of true art

Step 9, true art is a lifestyle, not a choice, therefore you should choose it as a lifestyle.

Step 10, when practiciing true art, always remain true to the steps and values of true art. don't doubt yourself or fall victim to platitudes.

Step 11, when pooping in a zero gravity environment, don't open your mouth, for that is not the way of true art.

Step 12: while true art is the true way, life is itself the carrier, therefore don't kill yourself as I sometimes want to.

Step 14: be jovial even if blue. no one likes a dickwad. this is the way of true art, which is perfect.

Step 14, don't be a bitchy old fatass, that's gross. that is not the way of the steps of true art. also, question and deny everything that's obvious.

Step 15, true art is the way

Step 16, never deny the awesome rules of true art, for perfect is what they are, all the time.

Step 17, to be a true art, don't be wrong

Step 18 true art means sleeping upside down in a rightside up tree and following the the following steps

Step 19: life, while hard to do, can be bested by following the following steps.

Step 20: always best life when it gets the better of you. and a fart is never just a fart. pay attention to the worst farts. they have messages.

Step 21, cows and ducklings are different, don't confuse them. while following the steps of true art, don't die prematurely, neither should be wrong ever, about anything

Step 22: own up to your mistakes. so you weren't a perfect true art? it doesn't mean you're a butthole.

Step 23, name your first son "Lance"

Step 24, cows aren't dogs, don't call them dogs. They aren't that.

Step 25, true art means building a guy who makes skyscrapers, loving him, then breaking up with him

Step 26, true art means the blood of the caucasoid race shall fill the sea then the blacks will have to deal with a white skin sky reflection

Step 27: the rules and steps of true art are awesome, perfect, and should be pronounced to the rest of the world. Don't hide them.

Step 28: Shannon and I broke up because I am unloveable. Wanna die. 'Twas the same day, today, I was promoted too. Why can't I just get only good news? True art means sleeping on the floor.

Step 29: true art means carving a wooden statue of yourself and nothing else. die, me, die

Step 30: why can't I true art?

Step 31, don't have a cookout today, I don't wanna

Step 32 of true art: don't be a chode. Also, unrelated question, do women really prefer men with huge chodes?

Step 33 of true art, always be following the indispensible steps of true art, namely aesthetics, perfection, perception and most importantly, rigid adherence to the true art steps.

Step 34: true art means wearing either a duck on your head or on an armband. an actual wood duck. it cant be a mallard or the other kind of the only three types of ducks.

Step 35, while fixating on the steps of true art, always be respectful and remember that true art is made only respectfully and out of commitment to the steps of true art. and never procrastinate.

Step 36 in the path to true art, always be prompt and on time, especially on your interviews to be an artist... an artist of a nature true.

Step 37, don't rue art if you want true art.

Step 38, to know, create and be a true art, always associate with those who refuse to acknowledge the true art steps. they will make you bigger and tougher like a big tough person is

Step 38, life has conditions and one of those conditions is gumption, purity of purpose, allegiance to a forthright goal, such as true art, becomingness and of course true art itself. also following the path of correct steps like our friends, the footprints on the desert sand, being whisped away by true art of the ages (i.e. the windiness of air) or people with brooms.

(IN RESPONSE TO MY FRIEND'S RESPONSE)
You're right, which brings us to the next step: living a life of true art needs to be shared, via ways.

But, what IS art? Well, art means adhering to the tenets of true art as previously explained.

True art means sharing a bathroom with moonmen in zero gravity.

In true art, it is necessary sometimes to corroborate with the devil, yes, ol' Scratch himself, to create the finest portrait of a couple getting married or a grade school yearbook photo

Step 42 of true art: always cover ones own mouth while coughing, then wash one's own hands promptly. there is no excuse for sickly hygiene, which i am not sure how to spell right, in the realm of true art

Step 43, be ye neither simp nor slouch, and when a foe encroaches, in a mugging type way, proudly say "I'll not!" and march away. trumpet blares of the heart shall parade behind you

Step 44, always go to work on time, honoring your bosses, yet conspiring against them in honor of africa and the true artists for whome ye shall change this very world.

Step 45, you have to ride a dog like a horse when you're a kid then the dog flips out and runs away

Step 43, true art comes from the soul of a tree and is crafted by the hands of a human for the minds of a society and exists on jupeter where girls go to get more stupider

Step 44, when practicing the art of true art, always know your values, keeping in mind the steps of true art.

Step 45, you cant do true art if you weren't born breach

Step 46, true art consists of many ways. these ways are enumerated in detail in the profound steps of true art.

Step 47 of doing true art is more of a cautionary guideline: Don't wipe the butt that feeds you.

Step 48, skateboarding isn't just for diaper babies any more. it is a distinguishing characteristic of a well rounded salt & pepper true art do-er. there is no good or evil, just true art and not-art. the solar system is true art, for example, while ice sculptures are not art.

Step 49, mowing ones own lawn as a child builds not only character but is the closest thing to true art this side of ballet.

Step 50, don't confuse artistan with true art. bricklayers do true art. But the famous painting "Boner Lisa" is merely artisan hackery.

Step 51, don't make true art or be an expert of it if you don't know how. And always be mindful of these steps of true art.

Step 52, don't cower in the corner when a bitch bulldyke motorcycle gang demands your money, like i do. Just give them your money. it's not worth a scuffle or your mortal life

Step 53, don't be shrewd but always consider yourself so.

Step 54, some people lie in a bed of snakes, others upon a bed of nails. There is, however, only one path of steps on the way to true art.

Step 55, hail satan.

Step 56, if someone is talking dumb shit to you, sit patiently and listen to them, for there may be true art hidden in their bluster.

Step 57, always give all of your money and belongings to the first homeless person you see, including your house. because then you will need them to reciprocate the favor.

Step 58, collaboration and simplicity are keys to true art. first you must collaborate with ideas of the past, then you must simplify them, preferably into drooling babble.

Step 59, refer to your pee-hole as the urination station and put up billboards and road signs advertising it on your thighs. these are the ways of those who do true art.

Step 60, calamity is not uncommon therefore one must do art in a dumpster that turns into a skyscraper/mansion magically the more true your art output.

Step 61, there are many steps to true art and each one must be given equal credence and followed precisely.

Step 62. True artists don't have inside jokes, they have outside seriouses.

Step 63, One cannot live without true art, but yet, what is true art?

Step 64, when life gives you the blueberries, give life a pair of pliers and some nails and say "there! now what're ya gonna do with that?" and then dance out of the room and have a mardis gras parade follow you

Step 65, everytime anyone says anything interesting, say "No way! Shut UP!" and then keep talking, be like "no, seriously, no way, shut the fuck up. I can't, i just can't do this any more" then have a heart attack, dying optional.

Step 66: hey, dumbass, don't use the metal spatula on that pan, you'll scratch the non-stick surface.

Step 67: move back three steps.
Step 68: skip step 67.
Step 69: move ahead 2 steps
Step 70: move ahead 2 steps
Step 71: move back 1 step

Step 7

Step 72: do christmas lights year round

Step 73, slide to the left, sliiiiiide to the right. 2 hops, 2 hops. now ride yer partner round the barn, dosey-doh and crip walk like a camel.

Step 74: polar bears, so-named due to their white fur, similar to the polar bears native to a polar climate

Step 75: true art recognizes that koala bears are an acronym for "koalas of all lands are... we" from the Latin root "Koalaw"

True art step #76, there is NO difference (none) between the brutality of the running of the bulls and the harvesting of oats. think about that next time you line up for your obama-rationed breakfast mush you SHEEP

Step 77, so go ahead, enjoy your "life" and don't think about the conspiracies going all around you, 96 percent of which involve video games.

Step 78, in true art: with age we improve, yet with age we degrade. This, a need for the word "disimprove" and for action against it "undisimprove" this will be continued in step 78

Step 79, the ending of step 78 meant to say step 79 and really had no conclusion anyway, which is something any true artist can paint a masterpiece about.

Step 80: true art is not driven by objectivity, sentimentality, ideas, reaction to other movements, personal therapy, emotions, documentation, questioning, answering, romance, politivs, purpose, nonsense, popular culture, anthropological assessments, scientific data, dreamer fantasies, roadwork, trees, this modern day, timelessness, timeliness, topics, humor, catering to the overly serious, non-ironic irony, butts, nubbins, puss-vaginas, standing up for the downtrodden nor damning them, and in no way shall true art reflect your own thoughts nor the thoughts of others. Follow that step and finally you can draw or photograph a portrait of a couple posing for their wedding.

MORE TEXTS I TEXT PEOPLE

It's weird when you look at your fingers and realize they're the entire band Aerosmith. I hate when that happens.

It's so weird when you're straight up street breakdancing and aerosmith shows up with a new orleans brass band in a funeral procession

It is so absolutely strange when you cough and steven tyler comes out of your mouth and he's like "hold up, my band is coming! aerosmith!" that's weird.

Its weird when you comb your hair and aerosmith falls out.

I cant stand how strange it is when i go to an aerosmith concert and they only do fleetwood mac songs

To be frank, i find it odd when I am taking a bath and aerosmith shows up and offers to wash my back and then they start telling me how they regret some of their specific life choices.

It is so absolutely annoying when aerosmith throws you a surprise birthday party on every day except your birthday

I am getting o sick of aerosmith's dominance over legal policy. all they care about is taking a big chance at the high school dance.

Isn't is strange when you squeeze toothpaste and aerosmith comes out and is like "our only regret is that we didn't incorporate the made-up word 'monsteroid' into that armageddon song" thats so odd. its so queer.

Aerosmith thinks they know everything. I am getting sick of turning on old ceiling fans and aerosmith blowing out, out of nowhere.

It is so strange when you're on a cheap flight to san juan and aerosmith are your flight attendants.

It is so odd when your aerosmith tires go flat and you call roadside assistance, which exists for the purpose of what i'm saying, and aerosmith shows up and act like the 3 stooges but then shoot you out of a cannon, I hate when that always happens constantly.

I'm like "hey aerosmith, knoweth ye this: stop being everywhereall the time!" then I blink and aerosmith falls out of my eyes again

I am so sick of aerosmith swimming at a beach, a different band member at a different beach location around the world, and because the sky is a reflection of the sea, when aerosmith is swimming, the sky projects a giant aerosmith logo. fucking stupid when that happens.

I hate when you go to a town meeting and aerosmith stands up and says "our community consists of aerosmith and we feel under represented, being what we are, aerosmith."

They're all the mayor, like a ratking of aerosmith.

I hate when the city of aerosmith gets divided, aerosmith on one side, then aerosmith on the other. ne'er the twain shall meet.

The next album by aerosmith will feature the timeless hit "hey, we're aerosmith (that's us)"

Yeah my favorite matchbox 20 song is "we're aerosmith" my 2nd favorite matchbox 20 song is "i'm alanis morisette (which I am not sure how to spell but this is a song you can't hear my mis-speelling)" my 3rd favorite matchbox 20 song is "we're aerosmith and we're here to stay"

My 5th favorite matchbox 20 song is "aerosmeith we aint, but who is? other than everyone"

My other 5th fav matchbox 20 song is "hey, did you hear our last song? (did you like it?)"

6th fav: "not all of our songs can be your number one favorite (but we still try)"

7th fav "this song is actually tangerine by zeppelin with us standing around singing over it. 8th fav: "matchbox 30? oh, yeah, i forgot, that's us"

What's your favorite Matchbox 20 song? Mine is Last Resort by Papa Roach

Yeah that song "the beatles" by seargant peppers lonely hearts club band is awesome. best matchbox20 song ever. only leaves one to wonder: how much greater would they be if they were matchbox21?

Omnipresent big brother aerosmith shadowing all of us, whispering profound secrets into our brains, like "we're aerosmith."

And other profound messages like "howdy-do! we're aerosmith! hi!"

(IN RESPONSE TO A FUNNY RESPONSE)
Hahahahahaha plus ha. Divided by laughter, then multiplied by LOL, minus dourness
To the chuckleth power.

Is your 2nd favorite aerosmith song also "hi, i'm aerosmith, just hanging out, being everywhere and everything all the time, so what's new with you (.... oh, really? Oh, word? wow, so yeah, I'm aerosmith)?"

Cause I love that song

My 3rd fav aerosmith song "all fatass bitches need smacked right the fuck to death." great pick-me-up vibe

If i am jogging in a state park then my fav aerosmith song for the occassion (which i don't know how to speeell) is "jogging around aimlesslyin a state park (we're aerosmith and soon ye shall be the same)"

It is so unorthodox when one farts and aerosmith shows up and starts rocking, yet it happens all the time.

Looking out among the fields of aerosmith, 5 year old aerosmith daydreamed of his future in which he would finally join aerosmith and rock-a-doodle in the true aerosmith way

O'er the pastures of aerosmith, the shepherd of aerosmith, from the village of aerosmith, led his herd of tired aerosmiths into the dusk

The one survivor of the great aerosmith crash wandered the desolate landscape, searching for another aerosmith with whom he could replenish the aerosmith race, for the sake of rock and roll.

The judge ruled that the scales of aerosmith were fair and that aerosmith would have to serve 14 aerosmiths in prison due to having too many identical aerosmith ballads. Outside the courtroom, a million aerosmiths wepts upon news of the verdict.

A skanky ole fat hogwoman bellied up to the bar at club aerosmith. She turned to the timid young aeroboy beisde her. He'd just turned 21, like yesterday. She coughed, "you aint aerosmith or nothing i'll blow ya" and he immediately orgasmed a million pearl jams in his pants

Aero Smith scrambled about on the grass. "I've lost my glasses!" he cried. Then he heard the crunch. Looking up, he vaguely identified a shadowy 40 foot figure standing upon his specs. 'Twas Aerosmith true. He feared for his aerosmith as his mind flooded with remembrance of his many misdeeds.

The funniest comedian in the age of aerosmith took the stage. The crowd, consisting of joe perry, steven tyler, the bass guy and the other people in aerosmith, sat wrapt. Fearing nothing, he launched into his set. "knock knock" quoth he. "Who is there?" replied the aerodience. "Aerosmit" said the comedien. "aerosmit who?" asked the audience, desperate for the punchline. "Aerosmith!" concluded the greatest comedian of all time. He killed that night, and forevermore.

James jr jones sat for the first time in a brothel. Lady aerosmith stood before him, her sheer aerosmith as light as aerosmith. "so what do you want, you delightful lad?" she asked. He stuttered, "i guess, i guess i'll, i'll, i'll take the standard aerosmith, i guess..." she blushed for his sake. some of these virgins were so cute

It was the little things in life that mattered, young joe joe joe joe joe aerosmith joe jojo joe realized. it was the little things, like aerosmith, which was also a huge thing, an all-encompassing thing, everything. so little things were large and large things were small and all was aerosmith. everything made sense. he then joined the taliban, isis, the nazis, the klan, the powderpuff girls, the cardboard workers 666, some other things, the aclu, frogman association, the fart squad, the crips, nasa, nambla and nato all at once. The world was becoming so much more simple. it was an early step transitioing from boyhood to aerosmith.

My drunk texts usually make absolutely no sense and half the words are misspelled.