Jesus, where to begin... And this one started out making so much sense. I'm not exactly sure what happened here, but it's almost like the director's brain just stopped working at some point during filming. Although that would imply the scenes were filmed in order and I have no reason to think they were, but I'm sure you get what I'm saying. It's not really a bad movie as far as typical bad movie qualities go. It's just that this thing makes less and less sense as it goes on, and it kinda blows my mind that whoever is responsible for this weird shit was OK with the final product being released as it was. Trust me. It needed some work.

This movie takes place in rural Nebraska during a family reunion for a really big family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, grandparents. Everybody's present and ready to eat. Including the outcasts from Californy. This married couple and their pissy, 17 year old gay son. I don't think Ryder much cares for anyone at this reunion, but he really wants to tell them all he's into dudes for some reason. Ryder wants this reunion to be his little coming out party, but his parents think it would make things super awkward. To be honest, we are given no reason to think otherwise. Ryder doesn't give a fuck and he shows it by wearing his red short shorts. This definitely makes things awkward as he gets plenty of stares and comments from the dumb hicks who don't get how sweet these gay, red shorts really are.

Ryder ends up volunteering to look after his 9 year old cousin, Molly for a while, seemingly as an excuse to get away from everyone else. The two go exploring and end up in a barn where the girl wishes to inspect the nest of some animal, which is where things get complicated. Molly talks Ryder into lifting her up on his shoulders so she can reach this nest, and the next thing we see is the little girl running back to the adults, screaming and crying with blood on her dress. This kid has just gotten her first period. Molly's redneck daddy is enraged and starts screaming at Ryder because he thinks he shoved his slimy gay dick up this girl's undeveloped little pussy. Molly doesn't even attempt to clear Ryder's name, and for whatever reason, neither does he.

Ryder denys doing anything to his cousin, but at the same time, acts like he's hiding something. If he is hiding something, we never learn what that is. As far as we know, this kid just started bleeding out her vagina whilst on Ryder's shoulders. It happens, I guess. Dinner is ruined as big drama ensues. Grandma thinks it's best if Ryder sleeps in the barn tonight even though outraged redneck daddy and family live way on down the road and have already left. This is more or less where the logic starts to crumble.

So, Ryder gladly sleeps in the barn because fuck grandma and pretty much everyone else. At some point in the night, his idiot mother comes out to sleep with him, I assume because she feels guilty. Ryder wants her to go away and stop bothering him but she feels like this is the best desicion. The next day, it is discovered that Ryder's parents car has been spray-painted with insults obviously directed at Ryder. We never learn who did this, but idiot mom's only concern is hiding this from grandma. Later on, idiot mom's brother (outraged, redneck daddy) sends one of his other little daughters (he has 4) to go fetch Ryder. This little girl shows up on a horse announcing that Ryder has officially been invited by daddy to dine with the family. Daddy wants to make things right and show Ryder that he is still welcomed in their home. The girl insists only Ryder is invited, which sounds suspicious as all hell if you ask me. For some reason, this untrusting teenager accepts the invitation seemingly without much thought. Apparently, Ryder's main concern is being allowed to wear his gay, red shorts. He immediately pulls down his pants to reveal them as his parents discourage this because nothing good could possibly come from wearing those faggy little things.

For some reason, Ryder seems to feel as though his gayness is somehow wrapped up in these shorts. He doesn't plan on telling anyone he wants cock, but I guess, feels the shorts are a fair compromise. So, Ryder rides the horse with Molly's little sister all the way to their place down the road. We then witness a very awkward lunch with the obviously still sore redneck daddy as he attempts to act like it's all good. Daddy says weird shit to Ryder, talks in riddles, asks him questions that sounds like traps, but ultimately, none of this seems to amount to jack shit. At one point, daddy randomly insists Ryder attempt to name off his daughters from oldest to youngest. As the suspicious Ryder is very hesitant to do so, it appears this all has a point and is leading somewhere but never does. Much like everything else.

After lunch, Daddy makes Ryder spend some alone time with Molly in her room, which is every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds. Lots of awkward silence between these two kids, but not long after they get to talking, daddy busts in and takes Ryder outside to show him how to shoot a gun. We can hear the resentment in his voice as he explains how to work the gun, but daddy never attempts to get anything off his chest. Maybe he was trying to scare Ryder, or just make him feel uncomfortable? it's impossible to know what is happening here. Luckily for Ryder, this weird little visit is now coming to an end as redneck daddy is having Molly take Ryder back to grandma's as they both ride off on horses together. On the way back, Ryder tries to find out what the fuck is going on because something clearly is, but Molly's not talking. She, however, mentions something about her family not being her real family, but also insists she's not adopted when asked. This is never mentioned again, and like literally everything else, goes nowhere.

Molly suddenly goes from quiet to talkative to somewhat flirty. She stops by the river, insisting the horses need a drink. Already wearing a swimsuit, she jumps in and takes herself a swim, and immediately starts trying to coax Ryder into getting in there with her. What in the ever loving hell does this kid want? It seems so much like there's something else going on here that is about to be revealed, but it never happens. After talking a lot of nonsense, Molly talks Ryder into letting her get on his shoulders again, which she seems to get sexual pleasure from. I mean she's clearly humping the back of his neck. Maybe it doesn't bother him as much as it should since he's gay? I don't know, but seriously, what the fuck is happening here?

Ryder and Molly hang around by the river for a while until Molly dumps mud all over him and then talks him into a game of hide and seek. As Ryder closes his eyes and counts to 50, Molly quickly runs off and just vanishes. It was freaky like maybe she DID literally vanish, but no such luck. Ryder then spends the next few hours searching for her. After it gets dark, he gives up and heads back to grandma's where he finds Molly and redneck daddy hanging out with his parents at the dinner table. Ryder is asked to join them. Not knowing what else to do, he just sits down and says very little as daddy directs passive aggressive remarks at him. He eventually gets to something resembling a point and sheds a little, and I mean very little light on the situation. If I didn't know better, I'd think this guy was implying that everything that has happened was by design. Possibly attempted revenge for some incest that went down between him and Ryder's mom when they were kids. So... there's that.

*SHRUGS* Don't ask me! I realize my description of this movie sounds like I only half-way paid attention, but I assure you, this is how it is. I never gave up on this kid being a homo somehow turning out to be relevant to the story though. As it would turn out, nothing was relevant. Nothing made sense. Or at least nothing after the point where Ryder agreed to take Molly off his uncle's hands for a while. I kept waiting for him to be all like "I'm gay, so get off my back", but it seemed to be very important to his parents that he keep it in the closet. Ryder didn't seem to give a shit what his parents thought, but for whatever reason, abided by this. I kept waiting for something to happen to justify something, and this almost non-existent reveal at the end just didn't cut it. Somebody had an idea for a story that could have possibly been developed into something coherent, if not intriguing. However, it was apparently decided the movie be made before that could happen. Of course, they clearly had no problems getting in a scene with a little girl being sexual, so, mission accomplished, I guess...? 4/10