Anyone ever wonder what it's like to be a Cop? It sounds great, doesn't it? You basically get to do whatever you want. You can hurt anyone you want and get away with it, and you get all the free stuff you want where ever you go. Including drugs. You tell someone to give you something, and they have to. You're a cop! However, only the fittest, toughest, most honorable individuals are cut out for this line of work. That's why Tim Ritter looked to his guy, THE guy, the legendary Joel D. Wynkoop, to play the role of a Police Officer in his 1999 Found Footage-Mock/Shockumentary, Dirty Cop No Donut. If anyone can play a Police Officer, convincingly, it's this guy!

So, Gus Kimble is a pretty irritable guy. Gus is bothered by nothing more than people who disregard the law. I'd imagine that's why he ended up becoming a Police Officer. Gus isn't without flaw, though. He has a bit of a temper, and perhaps enjoys a few perks under the table. Alright, I'll just say it. Gus Kimble does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, to whomever he wants. and if you don't like it, he doesn't really give a fuck, because he has a badge and you don't! Tonight, Gus is doing something a little differently. Something he wouldn't usually do, but he really wants to show the world what it takes to be a good cop. Tonight, Gus will be accompanied by a camera man who probably has his own plans for whatever footage he acquires, but that's neither here nor there. Tonight, Gus is going to tell a story, and he's going to have fun doing it.

First, the coke! Find a coke dealer and steal his coke. Then, we'll have lots of coke. That's pretty much how this whole thing begins. Gus busts in on some dealer he knows, one thing leads to another, and I'm pretty sure that guy is dead, now. So, he won't be needing that big bag od coke. Gus just loves to hear himself talk, and as you can imagine, this is only becoming more and more the case. I'm thinking Gus mostly wanted to show off for his camera man friend, because once they head into the convenience store, Gus made himself completely at home, eating, drinking whatever he wanted, rudely blowing off any and all displeasure expressed by the clerk. Gus needs a little down time before heading out to the pawn shop, where he accuses the guy of selling stolen merchandise. The coked-out Gus destroys a bunch of shit after flat-out refusing a bribe. So, Gus plays by the rules. He's just super selective about it.

After doing some coke with a hooker, then harassing a bum and sticking him in the trunk of his car, Gus heads over to some guy's house, who he claims is a pedophile. I don't know if Gus hates Pedophiles THAT much, or if he just thinks it's funny to force someone to castrate themselves while pissing on them. Well, that's what happened, regardless. Gus held a gun to his head until the wiener was detached. And then, big Gus cut a big, juicy fart for good measure. True story.

What a night this is turning out to be! And it's not over. Gus does some more coke and pulls over a drunk driver, only to get himself so worked up, he ends up destroying the woman's car. All of this done as self-righteously as possible. After raiding a party and getting ready to make some arrests, some underage girls catches Gus' eye, which might be our first clue that this Cop is a little on the "sketchy" side. Hell, is this guy even a cop at all, or just some fat asshole on coke who wants to control everybody? I'm starting to wonder.

I've always loved the films of Tim Ritter, as well as the Wynkoop brand of acting, but this film is by far my favorite project from them both. In fact, ever since I saw Dirty Cop No Donut for the first time, I automatically laugh whenever I see Wynkoop in anything, now. He was truly amazing in this, just reeking of every sleazy cop stereotype you could think of. Constantly talking out his ass about doing the right thing while topping his own hypocrisy with every cocaine-fueled scene. A lazy, ignorant bully who has seemingly found the perfect outlet for whatever neurosis he may be suffering from.

Dirty Cop No Donut is unlike anything Tim Ritter has done before or since. Ritter's only non-Horror film, Dirty Cop is a darker, trashier take on the TV show, Cops, even going so far as to get authentic reactions from unsuspecting non-actors. And I should point out, this is one movie that actually benefits from being shot-on-video. I think we can all agree on that. Some years later, something resembling a sequel was made, giving us a peak into the life of Gus Kimble after a long stay in the nut house. Certain scenes from said sequel were, in a way, merged with the original movie before getting a really nice release by SRS cinema. This epic version of Dirty Cop No Donut is the only way one should experience it. I really hope this movie finds a bigger audience someday. Made some time between the dying days of the SOV and the rise of the reality show, Dirty Cop No Donut never stood a chance at gaining the cult status of a Killing Spree or a Truth Or Dare. However, those of us who stuck around were treated to one hell of an entertaining concept. For anyone who loved the Ritter films mentioned above, you owe it to yourself to keep on going. Let this one be your next Tim Ritter film, and laugh while Joel Wynkoop acts like an asshole! 8/10