I tend to like bad movies. Often times, there is something highly amusing and quirky about them. I found Elves Delighftul, I found The Abomination hilarious, and I found Shatter Dead not as shithouse as I should have found it. All in all, I tend to enjoy bad movies.
Then I saw this piece of shit. Fuck me dead, I hate you Chester Novell Turner. I hate you so very, very much.

Okay, so you're probably thinking, it's not THAT bad surely? I must be giving it a bum rep. Well, see how long you can endure the opening credits alone. Go on, I dare you. See how long it takes you before you quit away from it. Watch all 6 bloody minutes of these opening credits if you can.



Did you make it to the very end without fast forwarding? Congratulations. Oh don't worry about that red stuff coming out of your ears, that's completely normal. If that didn't set the tone for this goddamn movie, I don't know what will. Trust me, it really doesn't get much better from then on out.

So the basic plot is a religious nut decides to buy a doll for whatever reason, I don't know, I was so distracted by the terrible music score in this POS that I wasn't really paying attention. The lady selling her the doll tries to warn her, but the movie itself doesn't want us to really know what she's saying, as the sounding fucks up and all we hear is a high pitch screetch. Was there even a sounding editor for this movie, seriously?!

Anyway, the doll turns out to be alive, and after seeing our religious nut in the shower, decides to tie her up and give her some woodern lovin' before ditching her, and leaving her quite enlightened with her new sexual experiences. In short, puppet sex.

I don't really know what to say about this movie, except it's just bad on every level. The acting sucks, the quality sucks, the score sucks, the main character sucks, the child pretending to be the doll sucks. Everything sucks, except the doll itself, who did get a few laughs outta me from his blatant rudeness. But even the puppet rape gets tired and boring after a while. And our main character goes from being a religious freak, to just a freak in general, look at this crazy bitch!



Usually I find something amusing with bad movies, and while our puppet rapist was pretty funny, the whole thing got so unbearable to the poin where I was literally waiting for it to end. This shot on video feature really shouldn't exist. It belongs in that special place in hell right next to Frozen Flesh and Prehistoric Bimbos in Armageddon City.

I don't know how Turner managed to fuck up a movie about a puppet rapist, but he did. Shame! Shame!!! You wooden headed bastard!!!!