Visitor Q's what brought me to truly appreciate Takashi Miike as a director. None of the taboo subjects in it were anything new to me, but the whole style of it, holy shit. The dark humor in it really works well.

The thing I really love about Visitor Q, is as fucked up as it is, it's essentially a family movie. Well, it might not display family values at first, but by the end of it, the are closer than any family movie I've ever seen. Such an unusual and bizarre flick with some truly messed up and hilarious imagery. I mean really, when the father was finally released from the corpse, there is a loud "popping" sound. How can you not laugh at that?!

It really is about being a family, even if that means everyone drinking from the mom's tits at the end. I crack up at a lot of parts of that movie. I love the father's reactions when he's trying to fuck the corpse. "Even in death, you shit on me!"

Viral videos/picures are a great way of wide spreading shocking and disgusting content. Even today, I'm still coming across oldies that I've never seen before. And being traumatised for it afterwards.

Usually the traumatisng media is disgusied with a fairly inconspicuous name, allowing for the victims who see these grotesque images to be caught off guard. This is quite fun for people like myself, who enjoy seeing the reactions of the innocent.

Most recently, I found out what the term goatse meant. Yes I know, I'm quite late to the party on that one. Looking up the image of goatse was just about as shocking as watching "One Guy, One Jar". Perhaps it was even the same guy, who knows! All I know is, once you see these images, they cannot be unsen.



If you were like me, and completely innocent to the term, Goatse, go ahead, look it up, I dare you. In fact, look up any of the viral images I mention in this article. I sure as hell won't be posting them here, but they are just a click away on google. Come on, you must join in the suffering that we all went through. Cos really, isn't that the reason why we share these apalling images, so we can share the suffering and laugh at the poor unsuspecting people you're about to traumatise?

Goatse is quite dated, much as a lot of these viral videos/pictures are. But they still hold a punch. I mentioned One Guy, One Jar earlier. Do you remember your reaction to that one? I remember mine, for the first minute I was compltely dumbfounded to what was happening. I was in such denial that I assumed this naked man was simply crouching in front of the glass jar. It wasn't until I heard that ear shattering sound, that it all hit me what I was actually watching. Most delayed reaction ever, but I certainly never forgot it. I honestly find that video far more scarring then 2 Girls 1 Cup, cos lets be honest, that shit was peanutbutter and ice cream. Aint no one that can convince me otherwise.



I used to think it was impossible for someone to eat shit. That was until I saw the dreaded, 1 Priest, 1 Nun video. And of course it's German! No offense to any German peeps, but come on! That bitch had it all over her face!

Naturally there are some videos that have upped it even more than shit eatching and rectal truma. I think good ole Mr hands gets the nomination for that one. If you can stomache watching 1 Guy 1 Jar, this beastality video will have you never looking at horses the same ever again.



In case, you're wondering, Mr Hands passed away not long after that video went viral. Let's be honest, what the bloody hell did he expect?!

All that said and done, one of thhe most shocking viral videos I ever seen, was one that I never saw coming. The title 2 Kids 1 Sandbox was quite misleading, and oh so painful to view. I think it only goes for 10 seconds, but those ten seconds will have you cringing. Even for me, and I don't have any of the parts that were...mistreated...
Go on, you know you wanna look it up.



I've been out of the game with viral naughty images for quite a while. I stay away from the real death/murder videos as I have no interest in seeing actual suffering, more simple minded stupidity. Cos really, these people's moronic actions are quite entertaining, or at least watching other people's reactions to them are.

If I've left out your favoruite viral video, post up on it here. And let the suffering continue! :D

Unfortunately (I guess), I know what all of those you mentioned are without even looking them up!

Two other older ones that I know of are Lemonparty and Tubgirl. Lemonparty is some old guys blowing each other and Tubgirl is another poop one. I won't post them either, of course. One other related to those that I can think of, and I can't think of the actual name of it, but it was a girl blowing some guy before puking on his dick. That one always really bothered me, I guess because I already find vomit pretty gross. I can watch any gory movie with no issues at all, but a little vomit? Makes me really cringe.

As far as videos go, not really so shocking I guess, but I once saw a video where a woman had ice cream scooped into her anus. Well, it was probably pretty shocking for her. I was more fascinated than anything. And one I remember someone else telling me about too was some woman who had boiled potatoes stuffed up her ass and she mashed them. Now, since I never saw it and could never find it to watch, I can't help wondering if it really exists. But at the same time, I can imagine someone trying that because, well, just look at the guy who sat on the jar. People love to do shit like that.

And how could I forget this? Ass smoothies. Look it up, if you dare. There was a site dedicated to it, but it just seems to redirect me to some generic porn site now. It's exactly what it sounds like though. Girls pouring smoothies up their asses. Not just something like a fruit smoothie either. I remember one where a girl blended up a hamburger, fries, and milkshake and poured that in! I've seen a lot of weird porn, but I don't think anything will ever top the shocking act of an ass smoothie.

One other related to those that I can think of, and I can't think of the actual name of it, but it was a girl blowing some guy before puking on his dick. That one always really bothered me, I guess because I already find vomit pretty gross. I can watch any gory movie with no issues at all, but a little vomit? Makes me really cringe.

I struggle with vomit too. I don't really cringe, but I'm a sympathetic vomiter. If I see people retching, I automatically wanna retch. If I see people puking, it makes me wanna puke too. I threw up watching ReGOREgitated Sacrifice. I'm not proud of that.

Ass-smoothies?! Good lord, what will people think of next! That's insane!
Believe it or not, I hadn't heard of any of these virals you've shared, so much obligues for sharing the nasty-ness. The Lemon Party one was all sorts of nasty. And of course any food near one's arse is a big no no. I mean reall, yuck!

Righto, here's another that's bound to make you gag. Lieterally. Ever wanted to know what a Blue Waffle tastes like? I'll give you a hint, it's totally NOT food! And could probably turn a straight man into a flaming queer within two shakes of a lambs tail.
For the love of god, don't look it up....without having a puke bucket handy.

I can't say a movie has ever caused me to become physically sick, but ReGOREgitated Sacrifice does sound like something I should avoid, along with all the other vomit movies that seem to have come out in recent years.

Yep, ass smoothies. There seems to be plenty of pictures and videos still around from the site. I remember in one of the videos I dared to watch, not only did the girl drink it after, she offered the cameraman some too! He wisely refused.

Oh yes, I know aboue Blue Waffle too! Strangely though, it doesn't bother me to see (at least in pictures) nearly as much as some of the other stuff mentioned. It's not pleasing, but it hasn't haunted my mind nearly as much either.

You mentioned Goatse. Happen to see all the other pictures supposedly done by the same guy? Not even sure where you can find them now, but he had a whole series of where he... uh... stretched himself.

And while on the subject of Goatse and stretching, there's plenty of nasty anal prolaspe pictures out there. I used to know a guy online who would always tell me when he was eating dinner and what he was having, so I'd take that opportunity to link him either to an anal prolapse picture or some scat. Needless to say, he quickly learned to be wary of my links! And yes, I know I must come off a horrible person for doing that. *giggles uncontrollably*

Oh no, don't avoid ReGOREgiated Sacrifce. It's actually....kinda okay as a movie. Pretty scary and fucked up, the only halfway decent of the vomit gore movies, just don't watch it ona full stomache.

I remember in one of the videos I dared to watch, not only did the girl drink it after, she offered the cameraman some too! He wisely refused.

Ewwwwwww :(

Wow, you have a much better tolerance for Blue Waffle. I did not cope easily with that picture. It still grosses me out.

Oh I haven't seen any of those other pictures by that guy, just that one. Strectching, huh? That sounds highly unpleasant.
Tempted to search them out....:D

Oh I can totally get sending poor unsuspecting fellows some nasty shit. Unfortunately, I'm too afraid of being judged by my friends. I don't imagine them ever looking at me the same again if I sent them goatse. Some people unfortunately have no sense of humour:(

I might eventually. I have to admit though, even the term vomit gore kind of turns me off from it. I guess that's one of few weaknesses I have when it comes to movies.

With Blue Waffle, I don't know. Maybe it's because I don't have a vagina? Except I just looked and apparently guys can get infected with it too. *fear begins to set in* Well, I certainly wouldn't want to deal with a Blue Waffle vagina. I guess it's kind of the opposite of vomit. I know what vomiting is like, so I'm able to imagine it when I see it in a movie, hence the cringing. I've never had Blue Waffle though and I hopefully will never have to even be near it, so I'm fine. For the most part anyway.

Yeah, it was a whole set of pictures and one of them was the infamous Goatse. I looked for the pictures a bit today and couldn't find them. Apparently the guy posts on Pornhub under the name kirkj though (his real name is Kirk Johnson). Glancing through, it looks like it's much of the same thing, mostly photos and a few videos, most involving stretching. I haven't watched any of the videos yet, but I'm sure my morbid curiosity will kick in fully soon.

I know, they really don't! I get weird looks for even mentioning some of the movies I watch! Funny thing is about that guy I mentioned, he's the one who first told me about anal prolapse. It was like handing a knife to a serial killer. No way I wasn't going to exploit that.

I am drawn to the more darker side of cinema. The more controversial and shocking side. Flicks that tend to keep me up reflecting on how fucked up they can really be. Films that make me reflect how fvcked up we can really be. I find it equally fascinating and terrifying. That's why I am always seeking out movies that push boundaries and taboos. One such taboo that's really struck a chord with me is the concept of snuff films.



I suppose the definition of a snuff film changes depending on who you talk to. I've always considered a film to be snuff if;

- A person dies on camera
- The movie was specifically made so a person could die on camera
- The purpose of this movie existing, is so it can make a profit, meaning people are paying to watch someone die on camera.

This excludes homemade footage of serials killers, accident deaths, or political executions. It implies something much darker than the film itself, and that's the fact that there is a possible audience, for these types of films. Now that, is freaky!

This is why I'm interested when horror movies address this. I think the concept alone makes the movie that much more interesting. And depending how the movie is executed, it can be downright disturbing.

I guess there are two types of flicks there, snuff themed flicks, and pseudo snuff.

I recently saw the Japanese flick Muzan-E: AV Actress Snuff Films Exists! (1999). This is a movie I had been avoiding for a long time for one reason only, and that's the fact that there were no subs. Recently though, I managed to grab a copy with english subs, and it really is a fantastic piece of cinema. The story is relatively cliche, a reporter investigating the concept of snuff, and gets too close, ends up in a snuff film herself. Only the ending is a nice twist on things which takes things to another level (I won't spoil here, but definitely check it out).
But what I really enjoyed about this movie, was the investigation into the underground, into the filth and depravity most avoid.
Other films that are similar in style and content are Last House on Dead End Street, Snuff 102, A Serbian Film and 8mm. Check them out if you guys haven't.



There's also the pseudo snuff movies, those that are meant to look like legit snuff films. Charlie Sheen made the second Guinea Pig movie famous for that, but the first one is also pretty intense. These two flicks were the high point of notoriety in the 90s. The controversy made them even more famous. As they should be, they're excellent examples of decent fx. Unfortunately after the initial guinea pig flicks, the rest go in a different direction. Apart from Mermaid in a Manhole, I lost interest in them.
Following the Japanese lead, August Underground flicks took things to a whole new level by adding lots of other taboos and sick sh!t. They essentially went all out with them, in particular, the first two. Say what you will about the AU flicks, they are damn fine examples of homemade serial killer movies. And they are the very definition of disturbing.



But if I'm to be honest, the best example of pseudo snuff I've ever seen is Niku Daruma, also known as Tumbling Doll of Flesh, also known as Psycho: The Snuff Reels. This might just be the most realistic torture flick I've ever seen. In fact, the only thing reminding me it's all fake is the optical fogging which seems to plague Japanese censors (they can rape a school girl with testicles, but god forbid they show some pubic hair).
The lack of subs, the sinister and gritty feel, the real sex, everything makes this movie look legit. Of course it's not, it's all fake, but it certainly looks the part, moreso than anything else I've seen. When people ask me for torture porn, I'm linking this movie. Cos I doubt it'll get more hardcore than this in a fictional movie.



If you're still reading this (sorry, I tend to ramble), I'm wondering what other snuff themed movies you've seen. I know many movies like Cannibal Holocaust and Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer briefly has references to it, but as a whole, what other movies examine the concept of snuff?

For those of you that have time and are interested, check out this mini doco from the Darker Side of Porn series, focusing on snuff flicks.



Thankyou for reading my nonsense.

And now, a short and horrific story by Chuck Palahniuk, simply titled, Guts

Inhale.

Take in as much air as you can. This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.

A friend of mine, when he was 13 years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkout counter, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.

So my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.

Like he's going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.

At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.

Then, this kid, his mom yells it's supper time. She says to come down, right now.

He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.

After dinner, he goes to find the carrot, and it's gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.

This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they never do. Ever. Even now that he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents' grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them. That something too awful to name.

People in France have a phrase: "staircase wit." In French: esprit de l'escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party....

As you start down the stairway, then-magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should've said. The perfect crippling put-down.

That’s the spirit of the stairway.

The trouble is, even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.

Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.

Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around their kid's neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm every¬where. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look ... better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad teen suicide.

Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of polished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, either a big metal ball or the kind of fan¬cy carved handle you'd see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.

It's this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.

After this, the little brother, one day he doesn't show up at school. That night, he calls to ask if I'll pick up his homework for the next couple weeks. Because he's in the hospital.

He's got to share a room with old people getting their guts worked on. He says how they all have to share the same television. All he's got for privacy is a curtain. His folks don't come and visit. On the phone, he says how right now his folks could just kill his big brother in the Navy.

On the phone, the kid says how-the day before-he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he's heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ballpoint pen's too big. A pencil's too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there's a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.

Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.

Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They've totally reinvented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can't keep track of the wax. He's one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn't sticking out anymore.

The thin wax rod, it's slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can't even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.

From downstairs, his mom shouts it's supper time. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.

It's after dinner when the kid's guts start to hurt. It's wax, so he figured it would just melt inside him and he'd pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kidneys. He can't stand straight.

This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people screaming. Game shows.

The X-rays show the truth, some¬thing long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it's collecting all the minerals in his piss. It's getting bigger and rougher, coated with crystals of calcium, it's bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.

This kid and his folks, his whole family, them looking at the black X-ray with the doctor and the nurses standing there, the big V of wax glowing white for everybody to see, he has to tell the truth. The way Arabs get off. What his big brother wrote him from the Navy.

On the phone, right now, he starts to cry.

They paid for the bladder operation with his college fund. One stupid mistake, and now he'll never be a lawyer.

Sticking stuff inside yourself. Sticking yourself inside stuff. A candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we knew it was going to be big trouble.

What got me in trouble, I called it Pearl Diving. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents' swimming pool. With one deep breath, I'd kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I'd sit down there for two, three, four minutes.

Just from jacking oft' I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.

After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each hand¬ful in a towel. That's why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my mom.

That used to be my worst fear in the world: my teenage virgin sister, think¬ing she's just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed, retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father and the uncle. In the end, it's never what you worry about that gets you.

The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sit¬ting on it.

As the French would say, Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked? Still, one minute you're just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer.

One minute I'm settling on the pool bottom and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow¬striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbor, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped foot¬ball practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I'm grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.

One minute I've got enough air and my dick's in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister's got ballet. Nobody's supposed to be home for hours.

My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch an¬other big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.

I do this again and again.

This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.

And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls. It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.

Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.

People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about everything. Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Get¬ting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.

Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat in¬side my head getting loud and fast.

The bright sparks of light crossing and crisscrossing my eyes, I turn and look back ... but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue¬white and braided with veins, has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding on to my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue¬white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.

That's the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that's never seen the light of day, it's been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.

So ...I kick at it, at the slippery, rub¬bery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It's maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butthole. With another kick, I'm an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I'm an inch closer to my escape.

Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It's the kind of horse¬pill vitamin my dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omegathree fatty acids.

It's seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.

It's not a snake. It's my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call prolapsed. It's my guts sucked into the drain.

Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That's about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we're all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working-unraveling my insides-until it's got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shit and you can see how this might turn you inside out.

What I can tell you is your guts don't feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you're digesting, doctors call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin, runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.

That's all this soup of blood and corn, shit and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unravel¬ing out my ass, me holding on to what's left, even then my first want is to some¬how get my swimsuit back on.

God forbid my folks see my dick.

My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow¬striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.

You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lambskin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It's too tough and rubbery. It's so slimy you can't hold on.

A lambskin condom, that's just plain old intestine.

You can see what I'm up against.

You let go for a second and you're gutted.

You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you're gutted.

You don't swim and you drown.

It's a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.

What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital 13 years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football schol¬arship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.

Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow¬striped swim trunks.

What even the French won't talk about.

That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say, "I need that like I need a hole in my head...," Russian people say, "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole......

Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse.

Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.

Hell ... even if you're Russian, someday you just might want those teeth.

Otherwise, what you have to do is¬you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.

It's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night. If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.

It's hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I'd got in trouble or how I'd saved myself. After the hospital, my mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock." And she learned how to cook poached eggs.

All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me....

I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.

Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don't eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple of hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I'll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.

After you have a radical bowel resec¬tioning, you don't digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I'm lucky to have my six inches. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I've never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was 13.

Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swimming pool. In the end my dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vitamin pill still inside, even then my dad just said, "That dog was fucking nuts."

Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my dad say, "We couldn't trust that dog alone for a second...."

Then my sister missed her period.

Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister's abortion, even then my folks never men¬tioned it again.

Ever.

That is our invisible carrot.

You. Now you can take a good, deep breath.

I still have not.

Oh I'm quite familiar with Guts! That's the kind of story you never forget. I'd say part of that's because of the way it's written and part of that's just the completely fucked up subject matter.

I've never seen that picture you included at the bottom. That's pretty much how I always envisioned the look on that kid's face being though!

Truer words were never spoken, this story cannot be unread!

I had forgotten about this thread. I must have been a naughty little cub back in the day. Not now though, I'm incredibly classy and mature for my age.

And now for something completely different, a doco on the infamous Animal Farm. Or for those not so clue-y, good ole bestiality.

Not as graphic as you'd expect, but still NSFW. Enjoy. But not too much, you perverts.

Mah Nigga!

Howdy!

wut up dawg this is a cool thread- I never saw it before.

Visitor Q is crazy fun. There's another extreme dysfunctional family black comedy called 'Dogtooth', not as taboo pushing as Visitor Q, but equally bonkers & amusing. Then there's Miike's own Happiness of the Katakuris, or simply 'Happiness' for the Solondz variey. Guess they're tame in comparison to VQ tho.

nice read, gonna see if i canfind 'High Life'