I finally saw this. I don't know why I hadn't gotten to it earlier. Yes I do, of course I do, it's a movie about guys getting their penis bitten off. YEESH.

Anyway. The story is set in... well, it seems to be a public high school, in a very religious part of the US. The general feeling of the community there makes me think of Saved (2004), and also the community in the book My Best Friend's Exorcism. I still haven't seen the film version of that one...

Anyway, in Teeth, the main character is a female junior or senior in high school, named Dawn. She comes across as sort of a mixture of Dakota Johnson and Melissa Joan Hart. Probably mostly Dakota Johnson, but definitely with some MJH mixed in there, both in appearance and personality. Dawn is very religious, and still a virgin. Because she is a virgin, she has never really had to think about, or really even notice, the fact that her private parts have, yes, TEETH.

She had one incident when she was a little girl, when her jerk of a stepbrother got a little too intrusive in her personal space (not exactly in a sexual way, he was just generally being aggressive, and trying to touch her private area after he showed her his). In the incident I'm describing, she bit his finger with her lower teeth. She gave him a damned good bite, he almost lost the tip of his finger. I guess they stitched it back on, after the scene.

Teeth reminds me of Carrie, a bit. Not completely, but there are a couple of scenes that made me think "ohhh yeah, I know where they got this idea from, from Carrie."

The movie... isn't really comedy, and it isn't really horror either. To me, it mostly felt like just a straight up, straightforward depiction of how a girl with this mutation might behave, and might feel, as she was coming to terms with it. Think about that for a minute. It really portrays what a religious, very nice, well-meaning girl might go through, as she realizes that there is something unusual about her anatomy. There is a little comedy toward the end, but not much, and it is usually pretty subtle. Mostly, the actress (Jess Weixler is her name) just takes the role very seriously, and portrays the character very sympathetically.

Over the course of the movie, Dawn has three main, um, "incidents," and one that is not quite as serious, and then another that we don't quite see, but is heavily implied. Dawn become less innocent as the movie goes along, but she is always sympathetic. Many (not all) of the guys in her life are complete assholes, and you want something bad to happen to them. What does happen to a couple of them still seems a bit harsh, though, of course.

So. Yah. I would say that I recommend this, but more just as an interesting indie film than as a comedy or horror. If you expect too much comedy or horror, you will be disappointed. It is interesting to watch though. If anybody has any thoughts on this movie, I'd like to hear them. Kirk out.