Apr 2020
Oh boy, where do I start with this one? Get ready for some spoilers, because I can't not go into detail about this sci-fi mess of a movie.
The film begins with little Johnny and Carla playing space explorers while out on a picnic. Soon, he stumbles upon a cave with two scientists, known simply as Professor and Roy. When Johnny's mother comes to collect them, everybody seems to get along just fine...
Suddenly, there's a bunch of lightning and lizards are fighting! Dinosaurs are about and the world goes to shit!
Some amount of time seems to have passed and the world is in ruins after the Ro-mans have destroyed all humans. All 2 billion of them. Only five or so people are left, and they live right next to the Ro-man robot monster's cave and he doesn't even know it because they live in an electrical forcefield that renders them invisible to him.
Ro-man is a big monkey looking motherfucker with a clunky tv/scuba thing on his head, and his mission is to destroy all humans. Naturally, he has a hard time accomplishing this because he's a bulky fat piece of shit who can't find the humans that are living right under his nose.
Throughout the movie, he can't find them even when they're simply standing right outside of his cave, complete with two minor pieces of electrical equipment that he seems to utilize because that's probably all the budget could afford.
Professor and his thick accent conspire to destroy Ro-man throughout the movie, all while daughter Alice and leading man Roy are flirting about. Roy talks about milking her and she talks about playing with him and then the two are on about fixing some circuit for some reason or another.
Clearly, they're just poking some busted electronic equipment with some other busted equipment and pretending that they're actually doing stuff, but they're not fooling anyone, and they can't even get it to work. This is all just filler to signify human's persistence or something. I don't know, and they probably don't know either.
Desperate for a truce, they aspire to communicate with Ro-man, but he only wants to speak with Alice. Probably because she's the hot one. However, leading man Roy wont stand for it and ties her up for her own good!
This hour long movie comes with an intermission so the audience could stretch their legs and snap out of their stupor, and when it returns, Johnny runs away just so Alice can be set free to look for him with Roy. Even though he isn't sweating, Roy takes off his shirt and keeps it off for the rest of the movie.
If anyone is sweating in this movie, it would have to be the guy in the big hairy suit who's clearly too out of shape to pose any real threat to those who can easily outrun him. All he can do half the time is shake his fist at people as they run away from him, but that's beside the point.
As Roy and Alice are gallavanting about in search for the stupid kid, they decide to get married, even though they're on a time-sensitive mission to escape from planet earth or some shit.
Everyone takes a break from the dire situation to partake in this dull festivity and Roy and Alice then go on a honeymoon, simply a klick away from everyone else. Meanwhile, Ro-man easily catches little Carla and strangles her to death. Mother cries about it, but nobody else seems to give a fuck.
Roy and Alice encounter Ro-man and fight him for a couple of seconds until Roy is thrown off a cliff and Alice is captured and brought back to the Ro-man cave, getting conflicted thoughts about his orders because he wants to bang this human woman.
Roy returns to warn professor during Carla's apathetic funeral and then he dies of exhaustion or whatever, and that's when Johnny hatches a winning plan to mislead Ro-man as the others rescue Alice and make Ro-man vulnerable, and Ro-man's superior shoots lighting from his fingertips from light-years away and destroys Ro-man and revives a bunch of dinosaurs during an earthquake and the whole world dies again.
In the end, it was all a dream and everybody lives happily ever after. Or do they?!
This was easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. It was so bad that it ruined the director's film career and he tried to kill himself, but he even fucked that up. If you want some mesmerizing garbage, watch this movie that's often considered one of the worst films of all time.
The film begins with little Johnny and Carla playing space explorers while out on a picnic. Soon, he stumbles upon a cave with two scientists, known simply as Professor and Roy. When Johnny's mother comes to collect them, everybody seems to get along just fine...
Suddenly, there's a bunch of lightning and lizards are fighting! Dinosaurs are about and the world goes to shit!
Some amount of time seems to have passed and the world is in ruins after the Ro-mans have destroyed all humans. All 2 billion of them. Only five or so people are left, and they live right next to the Ro-man robot monster's cave and he doesn't even know it because they live in an electrical forcefield that renders them invisible to him.
Ro-man is a big monkey looking motherfucker with a clunky tv/scuba thing on his head, and his mission is to destroy all humans. Naturally, he has a hard time accomplishing this because he's a bulky fat piece of shit who can't find the humans that are living right under his nose.
Throughout the movie, he can't find them even when they're simply standing right outside of his cave, complete with two minor pieces of electrical equipment that he seems to utilize because that's probably all the budget could afford.
Professor and his thick accent conspire to destroy Ro-man throughout the movie, all while daughter Alice and leading man Roy are flirting about. Roy talks about milking her and she talks about playing with him and then the two are on about fixing some circuit for some reason or another.
Clearly, they're just poking some busted electronic equipment with some other busted equipment and pretending that they're actually doing stuff, but they're not fooling anyone, and they can't even get it to work. This is all just filler to signify human's persistence or something. I don't know, and they probably don't know either.
Desperate for a truce, they aspire to communicate with Ro-man, but he only wants to speak with Alice. Probably because she's the hot one. However, leading man Roy wont stand for it and ties her up for her own good!
This hour long movie comes with an intermission so the audience could stretch their legs and snap out of their stupor, and when it returns, Johnny runs away just so Alice can be set free to look for him with Roy. Even though he isn't sweating, Roy takes off his shirt and keeps it off for the rest of the movie.
If anyone is sweating in this movie, it would have to be the guy in the big hairy suit who's clearly too out of shape to pose any real threat to those who can easily outrun him. All he can do half the time is shake his fist at people as they run away from him, but that's beside the point.
As Roy and Alice are gallavanting about in search for the stupid kid, they decide to get married, even though they're on a time-sensitive mission to escape from planet earth or some shit.
Everyone takes a break from the dire situation to partake in this dull festivity and Roy and Alice then go on a honeymoon, simply a klick away from everyone else. Meanwhile, Ro-man easily catches little Carla and strangles her to death. Mother cries about it, but nobody else seems to give a fuck.
Roy and Alice encounter Ro-man and fight him for a couple of seconds until Roy is thrown off a cliff and Alice is captured and brought back to the Ro-man cave, getting conflicted thoughts about his orders because he wants to bang this human woman.
Roy returns to warn professor during Carla's apathetic funeral and then he dies of exhaustion or whatever, and that's when Johnny hatches a winning plan to mislead Ro-man as the others rescue Alice and make Ro-man vulnerable, and Ro-man's superior shoots lighting from his fingertips from light-years away and destroys Ro-man and revives a bunch of dinosaurs during an earthquake and the whole world dies again.
In the end, it was all a dream and everybody lives happily ever after. Or do they?!
This was easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. It was so bad that it ruined the director's film career and he tried to kill himself, but he even fucked that up. If you want some mesmerizing garbage, watch this movie that's often considered one of the worst films of all time.
