May '19
This was my 8th consecutive year attending DFW's annual horror con. Each year, I try to meet a few more horror icons who have blown my mind in classic horror flicks that are now considered staple horror franchises. I've met a lot of my heroes. People I've only seen on screen for years and years of my life. People I'd never dreamed I would actually shake hands with. That's what these conventions are for. They blur the line between reality and fiction in the same kind of way that Halloween blurs the line between the living and the dead. Conventions like this make you re-evaluate the scope of celebrity, because you can see them with your own two eyes. It's mesmerizing.
On the tail end of this weekend event, I had to start with the photo ops. Never did those before, so I didn't know what I was missing. Sure, you have to pay a lot, but it's a guaranteed way to meet the more high-end celebs, who you'd have no chance with if you waited in a regular line.
First up was the legend, and one of this year's top additions. Bruce fucking Campbell. Now, these photo-ops are very quick, so you don't have time to ask them any questions, and thus you don't have time to embarrass yourself. What you're left with is a quick first impression, and Bruce was classy as fuck.
I mean, look at that guy in his suit? Left to right is dad, @owl, @der, THE CHOSEN ONE, and my dumb ass. Bruce reminds me of his Old Spice days in this look. Fancy as hell.
Next up is the Six Million Dollar Man, who's net worth is some $15 million. He's appreciated in value. While not much of a horror actor, Lee Majors was awesome in Ash vs. Evil Dead.
He's the only reason my dad came, and after he got a second solo pic, he was done. I think the bizarro characters may have frightened him away! The other guy in the pic is my friend Justin, who goes with me to this thing every year.
After him was a high-priority that would come off as rather underwhelming. Tim Curry is the man, and you have to meet this guy before he goes, because he was looking a bit out of it. Since his stroke, he's been in a bit of slump. He didn't even say a word to me, but I don't blame him. I think the smirk on his face isn't a smirk. It's probably just how his face is nowadays.
Time to cool down. After almost no wait comes James Jude Courtney, the excellent rendition of Michael Myers in Halloween 2018. $40 for signed 8x10 and picture.
Oh yeah... back to the photo ops! Last of those, and probably my favorite picture of the entire convention... Robert Englund.
Everybody wants to see Freddy. His lines are the longest of anyone I've seen, but that's what these photo-ops are good for. You get five seconds with the man, and you got to make them count with a good picture. Robert Englund doesn't take bad pictures. I wanted to shake his gloved hand, but he probably avoided that for legal reasons. What an enthusiastic guy, though. Definitely worth it, and my collections of horror icons is formidable now.
So wow... my life is complete now, but I still go on anyway! Angela was there in the corner, and I love Sleepaway Camp!
This lady was very peppy. She seemed to adore anyone who went to her table, and she's also hot as hell. She gave me a hug, and it felt great. $30 for 8x10 and pic.
I could've met Barbara Crampton years ago, but I was a fool. I finally remedied it this year, and she's also hot. They even comment on that in Beyond the Gates, on how she's pretty hot for someone her age. Lovely lady, though. She mentioned she's involved in a new version of Castle Freak from the makers of Littlest Reich. $40 for the 8x10 and pic.
And while I'm not the most aware of his work, I still think that Joe Bob Briggs is cool as hell. I barely know his work outside of a couple of Shriekshow dvd commentaries and his bit role in Casino, but the dude is a legend. He had a busty chick with him, too, and she was wonderful to look at. Only $20 to get an autograph and a pic.
And last, but definitely the best thing about this convention: Joe Bob Brigg's big-tittied assistant:
One of my favorite things about these conventions is the beautiful horror-loving women with huge boobs who like to show them off, and since they're often wearing intricate costumes (or at the very least, a snazzy or titulating outfit), they're expecting you to stare, and I do.
There's a lot going on in these conventions. It gets crowded with people, merchandise, cosplay, lines, tables, booths, dvds sales, staff members, and other shit so it gets overwhelming at times. There's a lot you can miss, but there's a lot of cool stuff you can spot, like the cool shirts of obscure horror movies you'll see people wear, but honestly... there are a lot of Freddy, Jason, and Halloween shirts. I saw about 10 Ash cosplayers today. Just imagine if I'd gone on a busier day! Yet, there's a lot you can miss if you aren't looking for it. When I got there early before it opened, I could have sworn I saw the black lodge giant from Twin Peaks walk past me, hunched over and wheeling his suitcase along with him as he passed me... and sure enough, it was Carel Struycken. The owls are not what they seem.
Damn fine coffee!
On the tail end of this weekend event, I had to start with the photo ops. Never did those before, so I didn't know what I was missing. Sure, you have to pay a lot, but it's a guaranteed way to meet the more high-end celebs, who you'd have no chance with if you waited in a regular line.
First up was the legend, and one of this year's top additions. Bruce fucking Campbell. Now, these photo-ops are very quick, so you don't have time to ask them any questions, and thus you don't have time to embarrass yourself. What you're left with is a quick first impression, and Bruce was classy as fuck.
I mean, look at that guy in his suit? Left to right is dad, @owl, @der, THE CHOSEN ONE, and my dumb ass. Bruce reminds me of his Old Spice days in this look. Fancy as hell.
Next up is the Six Million Dollar Man, who's net worth is some $15 million. He's appreciated in value. While not much of a horror actor, Lee Majors was awesome in Ash vs. Evil Dead.
He's the only reason my dad came, and after he got a second solo pic, he was done. I think the bizarro characters may have frightened him away! The other guy in the pic is my friend Justin, who goes with me to this thing every year.
After him was a high-priority that would come off as rather underwhelming. Tim Curry is the man, and you have to meet this guy before he goes, because he was looking a bit out of it. Since his stroke, he's been in a bit of slump. He didn't even say a word to me, but I don't blame him. I think the smirk on his face isn't a smirk. It's probably just how his face is nowadays.
Time to cool down. After almost no wait comes James Jude Courtney, the excellent rendition of Michael Myers in Halloween 2018. $40 for signed 8x10 and picture.
Oh yeah... back to the photo ops! Last of those, and probably my favorite picture of the entire convention... Robert Englund.
Everybody wants to see Freddy. His lines are the longest of anyone I've seen, but that's what these photo-ops are good for. You get five seconds with the man, and you got to make them count with a good picture. Robert Englund doesn't take bad pictures. I wanted to shake his gloved hand, but he probably avoided that for legal reasons. What an enthusiastic guy, though. Definitely worth it, and my collections of horror icons is formidable now.
So wow... my life is complete now, but I still go on anyway! Angela was there in the corner, and I love Sleepaway Camp!
This lady was very peppy. She seemed to adore anyone who went to her table, and she's also hot as hell. She gave me a hug, and it felt great. $30 for 8x10 and pic.
I could've met Barbara Crampton years ago, but I was a fool. I finally remedied it this year, and she's also hot. They even comment on that in Beyond the Gates, on how she's pretty hot for someone her age. Lovely lady, though. She mentioned she's involved in a new version of Castle Freak from the makers of Littlest Reich. $40 for the 8x10 and pic.
And while I'm not the most aware of his work, I still think that Joe Bob Briggs is cool as hell. I barely know his work outside of a couple of Shriekshow dvd commentaries and his bit role in Casino, but the dude is a legend. He had a busty chick with him, too, and she was wonderful to look at. Only $20 to get an autograph and a pic.
And last, but definitely the best thing about this convention: Joe Bob Brigg's big-tittied assistant:
One of my favorite things about these conventions is the beautiful horror-loving women with huge boobs who like to show them off, and since they're often wearing intricate costumes (or at the very least, a snazzy or titulating outfit), they're expecting you to stare, and I do.
There's a lot going on in these conventions. It gets crowded with people, merchandise, cosplay, lines, tables, booths, dvds sales, staff members, and other shit so it gets overwhelming at times. There's a lot you can miss, but there's a lot of cool stuff you can spot, like the cool shirts of obscure horror movies you'll see people wear, but honestly... there are a lot of Freddy, Jason, and Halloween shirts. I saw about 10 Ash cosplayers today. Just imagine if I'd gone on a busier day! Yet, there's a lot you can miss if you aren't looking for it. When I got there early before it opened, I could have sworn I saw the black lodge giant from Twin Peaks walk past me, hunched over and wheeling his suitcase along with him as he passed me... and sure enough, it was Carel Struycken. The owls are not what they seem.
Damn fine coffee!
