This movie left me in awe when I first saw it. It's pretty trashy, too. Like, almost perfect, even. No, this movie is perfect. It's a monster movie in a small coastal town, but not just any monster. This is a humanoid sea monster, and there are boatloads of 'em. Well, as depicted anyway. There were only about three guys in suits doing it all, but it all works out.

This movie is really short, but it's never dull. The pacing is basically perfect, giving you proper story exposition, creature action, explosions, gore, titties, and a wonderful old timey feel of a good monster movie.

We have Jim, played by vintage hero type Doug McClure, and I just think that guy is the coolest. He's got a hot wife, he's level-headed, and he knows how to handle his business. Johnny Eagle is a courageous do-gooder type who has to go up against the town's pro-cannery bigshot Slattery, played by Vic Morrow. Vic and his jew-fro plays an excellent racist drunk in this, and gives this movie some class. Jim's bro Tommy looks ultra 70s, and he's got a hot gf, too, but there are other hotties who are in the movie just for the hell of it. We have a horndog named Jerry who's always scoring with his woman, and a few gratuitous bimbos for good measure. Also, there's a strong-woman type scientist who works with a weird, wimpy gay nerd dude, and gets so frustrated at him, she calls him a "stupid ass". It makes me laugh.

Ugh... there are so many characters crammed into this movie, but they're all somehow interesting. The sheriff is useless and kind of out of it the entire movie. There's also a ventriloquist who's trying to get laid in a tent, but something more awesome than that ends up happening. That's when things go into beast mode, and we see all sorts of humanoids action.

This movie doesn't leave any time for filler. It gets its hands dirty immediately by killing kids, fishermen, dogs, dog, and more dogs. Then, racism and other subplots go on, while sea monsters are having their way with sexy beach women. By force!

The movie is a trash epic because it's a concise piece of sci-fi/horror. That's right, an old school monster movie, in the likes of Revenge of the Creature, only better in every way. It builds up a decent plot in record time, sustaining itself with interludes of great-fx gore, moody music by James Horner, and amply endowed ladies that are so hot, even the monsters want to do them. Then, it all erupts into a full scale assault on the fair-goers trying to have a good time when the sea monsters try to bang the women and kill the men. They rip people open, they rip off heads... it's awesome.

The movie ultimately ends with a blatant Alien homage, coming out shortly after that movie did, and that's it. Somehow, this movie never became a smash hit, even though Roger Corman (somewhat) produced it. It was (mostly) directed by a woman, it had some decent actors in it, but it kind of went underground there for a while... until they remade it in 1996.

Has anyone scene that movie?! I can't find it anywhere, and I feel like I might have watched it on tv when I was younger. Of course, I also feel like I watched the original on tv when I was younger, and you know why? They apparently use some of the same footage from the original. That's lazy, but ballsy.

Humanoids has to be one of the most entertaining films I've ever seen. It fascinates me.