Things have been so shitty lately. I mean it. I just got back home after working 14 hours to realize how divided people are on TE, and this shit really upsets me! I've poured years of my life into this place, and all I can see is how many people have joined enthusiastically, only to leave with such bitter disdain.

I blame myself. Who else can I blame? I built this fucking place, as well as all of its shortcomings. I've tried to cater to everyone, but these things can't be divided in such a way that everyone feels compensated. There's always tangents that exponentially deviate in their own direction, and it ends up ruining what could have been a great thing. This usually involves users who have a set opinion that refuses to differ from another user, and all things go to hell because of it.

I've gotten reeeeaaally drunk for this rant, because there's so much to say, but all of it simply cannot be said. Every user here is their own person, and has an indefinite amount of input that can be injected. There are so many opinions here, but a lot of them never see eye to eye, even though this place was (well) crafted to be the ultimate site for imdb refugees after the demise of the message boards, but apparently, archived threads from the last 15 years worth of users has always taken precendence...

Honestly, I just don't know how things have gotten so out-of-hand. Back in (circa) 2009, I started to ponder how message board code worked. I used a localhost (a test server for webpages) to understand the inner workings of HTML and servers. It wasn't until 2013 that I began to understand how websites and web pages worked at an intimate level that I could build this fucking dump of b-movies and html finesse that decided to put "Trash Epics" into full online mode, but even that was frowned upon, and ultimately dismissed.

It wasn't until circa 2014, which was an entire FIVE years ago... that I was able to actually create this damn website, and show the world that I wasn't just some inanimate twat who didn't know how to do anything, that I could create this community of like-minded b-movie enthusiasts who could all get along and create an empire of crazy, ridiculous cinematic love affairs. It seemed to work there, for a while, until I realized how much a user's personal policitics could factor into the mental anguish of it all.

There I ran a site. Then, IMDb closed down, and I had a whole new opportunity to reel in the lost fish who hadn't sided with the bigger fish (imdb2, moviechat), and I did my best to recreate the imdb exprience with the TEDb, which failed right off the bat to lure the golden fish. It was a learning experience, but it didn't bring in the vast majority of users that I'd hoped for. Yes, users joined, and after a while, took offense to something and bailed... in favor of yet another lesser effort to recreate imdb's glory. But I sucked it up, and held my own, until politics fucking ruined everything.

This was circa 2016, when the presidential election was a big deal. I'd side with Trump, and yet so many users here would rag on me, insult me, and insist that I'm an oblivious fuck for siding with a businessman over a crazed woman. Yeah, I know this bit will get a lot of flack, but politics definitely affected TE in 2016 era. We lost a lot of users because of meaningless endorsements to a political party, and that was the first time that I realized how much of an impact my own stupid personal opinion could have. Yeah, I liked Trump. I've agreed with a LOT that he's done of the years, but I've lost sooooo many friends because of it, and for the love of me, I don't know why. I only saw it after the fact, and it sent me into a spiraling depression of loyalties and dismay.

Then, we were fine for a while. TE was doing okay at best, and then we were hit with another speed bump. PERSONAL bias. Personal user interactions weren't acceptable, and users started taking it out on each other. This, I believe, was the worst downfall of TE. The community couldn't keep it's shit together, and by that point, it didn't seem like a community at all, but rather collection of random opinions who vaguely liked the horror/trash subgenre. This, apparently, wouldn't do...


Lately, everything has been fucked. Friendships have turned to shit, and users are trying to split this camp up into multiple camps. I hate that. We were all supposed to be a team, but things went so south!

Now here, I just want to express how much I love everyone on this site. You all have meant the world to me. I've known a LOT of you for the past 15ish years, because YES, I've been on the IMDb horror board since 2005, so I fucking know you guys.

@der has been there with me since 2013, when I first contemplated Trash Epics. Don't anyone forget that! He was there with me since day 1, and he's my fucking brother-in-law, and I fucking love the guy. Sure, he acts like a major fucking dick sometimes, but he's always been one to come around to reason. He's a very rational being, and he truly believes in the power of trash. He's had nothing but praises, sunshine, and enthusiasm for me and everything that Trash Epics represents. I'm bummed out that not everyone sees that, probably because of his moody rants, but the guy is on the level, and he's reasonable. If he wasn't, how the hell would I deal with him for so long after all these years? Yeah, he was a troll, but weren't you at one point? I know I was. I often posted various topics about transvestites and suicide and all sorts of bullshit. Everyone wants to get ridiculous at some point.

Then, there's @Tromafreak, who all this beef started with. Me and him used to be like this *crosses fingers*. He taught me everything I know about shitty movies, and I'll never forget that. He knows his shit, and I really hope he and I can see eye-to-eye again at some point. Despite my rants, I really do like Tromafreak, and OnyxHades, who have been supportive of TE from the start. I'm sorry to Tromafreak if he thinks I've demeaned him with the mod thing, but it honestly just isn't a big deal at all. TE needs no moderation, and I yeah... maybe I wanted him to feel important, because he is important to me. As important as a shitty/awesome movie can be to a movie fanatic. The dude has influence my taste to the point that my favorite directors are his fucking favorite directors, and yet... him and I are now on bad terms, and that makes me feel like dirt. I fucking hate it, and I wish we could all see eye to eye like we used to.

@Onyx is also a genuine person who I've become very fond of, and this mess with tromafreak makes me feel that I've lost her as a friend, too, and that crushes me even more. I hate being at odds with some of my best two pals, but shit happens.

@ballz is my one of my best good friends, so I hope he never hates me. I've bee talking to this fucker for ages, and him and I have always been *dubbed burps*. I feel like I can tell this dude anything, and he wouldn't judge me.

@owl is one of my favorite people in the world, and I'm so glad that she decided to be a part of the TE experience. Also glad that @bambi is active on here.

Then, there's the regs who I always love to hear from. @znep, @sfpx, @tommix, @zed, @vincent, @foz, @gymno, @zombie, @markus, and even @yakko (I fucking love that guy). Then, there's @johan, who I also love, but I always feel that he kind of hates me for some reason.

Basically, I love everybody on here, and all of their contributions, despite what they may think of me. It just thrills me to my core that these guys use my garbage dump to talk about movies and whatever, and I really hope everybody here knows how much I appreciate them, even if there is drama between them. They're all good guys(gals), and I wish I could make them all happy here, but alas, it's something I've been failing at for years. No matter how hard I try to maintain the peace, people always tend to fall out, and put the blame on someone else.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to blame der, or tromafreak, or Trump, or anyone for the shortcomings of Trash Epics. I know there are various "sides" going around right now, and I don't want that. I really miss the comeradery we once had, and I really wish we could have that again, but I'm beginning to lose hope that anyone actually cares about maintaining these things. I really hope I'm wrong about this. All of this. I hope we can all get past our bullshit and make this place genuine again.

It's taken a lot out of me to write this. I've gotten pretty emotional at various points during this rant, because this is the only thing I've ever put my efforts into, and so many people have been so quick to dismiss it. My parents, my co-workers, and the few real-life friends I have. I just want people to believe in Trash Epics as much as I do.

Your pal,
Box a' Hair