I'm not terribly familiar with The Flash. He had a lot of tv stuff in and out of the Arrowverse, but I never watched any of it, because why should I? I'm here for Batman, bitch. But somehow, that weird cult leader they-pronoun Ezra Miller pulled it off. It lived up to the hype.

The movie takes heavy inspiration from the Flashpoint Paradox comic, in which Flash goes so fast that he travels back in time. It was a cool comic and animated film, utilizing Batman in a primary role, which is what this movie also does. Sex^Batman sells. Of course, that story has been told already, so we're fitting it into the Snyderverse for one last go before the new DCU takes over.

It makes for a good Flash origin story, even though it's definitely not a prequel. It's time travel, so it's actually a very fun butterfly effect movie with sincerity and jokes that actually land. It covers the accident, the trauma, all that. But Batman...

Ben Affleck actually has a good look for Batman & Bruce Wayne. He's in there for a few good scenes, but Michael Keaton is the one we're curious about. How does he factor into all this? Well, time isn't linear, and it takes some spaghetti to explain it. In a nutshell, he's from a skewed intersecting universe of sorts in which Flash seemingly landed.

He's still cool though, because "I'm Batman" - him. However, I'm thinking he's not necessarily the same one we saw in the Tim Burton movies, but the mansion is the same, the car and gadgets are the same, the batcave... I think that was different, but I'm a pathetic Batman fan since I can't tell you for certain. There's another Batman, but you'll find out about that later.

Supergirl and Zod are also in a chunk of this movie, and it shows you just how badly we needed a Henry Cavill to save us from that liberal loon Michael Shannon. Michael complained that his role is pretty shallow in this movie, and I'll agree. But he's there for some interesting Man of Steel nostalgia. Supergirl was well done, but pointless in the long run. I would do her.

It was a fun movie. People say the CGI is bad, but that's redundant. It didn't bother me, because I was high as fuck and eating hot dogs. The Flash was running at lightning speed though infinity, but he was also stealing and eating hot dogs, and that makes him a relatable character.

May God have mercy on Ezra Miller's soul.