Tornadoes are in the forecast today. I fear I may perish as I have nothing left to live for, for I have just seen what is probably the the trashiest trash epic ever.

Return to Return to Nuke 'Em High (Vol II) is the dumbest shit ever. Loaded with dicks, dykes, ducks, farts, titties, and toxic waste. Featuring trademark cameos by Lemmy, Joe Fleishaker, Stan Lee, and Ron Jeremy as God. It's sad that we wont see more of them in the next Troma movie, if ever there will be one. Except in archive footage, of course. It wouldn't be a Troma movie without that same ol' car crash from Kabukiman, or blatant references to previous Troma projects like Toxic Crusaders and Return Vol 1.

As usual, there's an evil corporation out to poison everyone with unhealthy foods, and it's run by Lloyd Kaufman. If you'll remember, Lloyd did (not) play the main character in the original Nuke 'Em High film, which is why he is reprising the role here. If you're wondering why Lloyd looks so young, it's because he's been sniffing farts directly out of student's toxic assholes. It's his own personal fountain of (P)youth.

Kaufman's own Troma films are always so hectic. There's so much going in any given scene, you're bound to find something hilarious to fixate on. There's no time for sentimentality here, because there's always something crude going on. I liked when Mark Torgl jerked off into the monster's eye. Then he took a shit. It was a heart-warming scene.

I can't say this movie was lacking in any of the things i look for in a great movie. There were soooo many farts. So many topless women. So much ooze and foaming at the mouth. Highly recommended for the squeamish.