Horoscopes
Updated Apr 15
| â | Aquarius | Call Professor Stokes. If anyone can find out anything, he can. |
| â | Pisces | Maybe you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. Try teaching an old dog how to kickflip. |
| â | Aries | You are one ugly motherfucker |
| â | Taurus | This is no dream. This is really happening! |
| â | Gemini | Be aware of what you wear today. Someone important might judge you because of it. |
| â | Cancer | What comes around is all around. |
| â | Leo | If you take a dump, put it back. |
| â | Virgo | Don't Stop! Believing! |
| â | Libra | Good things come to those at the gate. |
| â | Scorpio | Hey, @! Get your ass away from there! |
| â | Sagittarius | Play the lottery NOW! |
| â | Capricorn | One man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage. |